Merlin Drabbles
by BringOnTheWonder1997
Summary: Random things I'll write in random moments. Feel free to send in challenges and requests. I will probably not stick to 100 words so it'll probably be more like a collection of one-shots which I could later expand on xx
1. Flames

Silence filled the air, solemn silence.

It made a change from the normally dramatic atmosphere and accompanying jeers.

Nothing moved.

No one spoke.

It seemed that even Mother Nature, untameable and wild as the sea, was paying her last respects.

People sobbed silently, clutching at each other like lifelines.

Gwen wept, tears sliding down her cheeks.

Arthur stood beside his father and Morgana, his face stoic and neutral.

Beside him, a pale Morgana was standing stiffly, a single tear escaping before its fellows were restrained.

Gaius wasn't even there.

And in the middle of the courtyard, the sorcerer Merlin burned.


	2. Freya

He'd loved her.

He'd loved her so much it had hurt, he thought he'd burst from the emotion.

Such a positive emotion was foreign to him – it was usually fear or pain or loss.

And in the end he'd lost her.

It was as if he'd never had her at all – no one but Gaius had known her. Everyone else had just seen a blood-thirsty beast, lusting for blood. Even Gaius, sorry as he was, had seen her as a problem, as issue.

He'd loved her so much that now she was gone he thought he'd crumble to pieces.

_Freya._


	3. Arthur

Arthur was a Prince, soon to be a King (due to his father's steadily and rapidly declining health). Once upon a time he'd been a prat (and according to his manservant Merlin, he still was) but with the help of said manservant, Arthur's attitude had been transformed.

He was now a Prince of the people, and one they could be proud of. He had overcome all manner of adversaries – random bandits, evil sorcerers, immortal armies, his own sister, even_ dragons_.

And they would never know how the warlock Merlin had helped him (apart from the whole change in attitude thing).

_Sorry for the wait - I've been distracted by the plot bunnies and shiny new toys (Hunger Games) xx_


	4. Agravaine

Agravaine was aggravating. The death of his only sister at the hands of Uther – and it was Uther he blamed, not magic – had destroyed the goodness i his soul. His brother, Tristan, had followed Ygraine into death soon after. With him followed any chance of redemption.

At first he hadn't been tempted by revenge – he had better things to do with his life than bother with Uther Pendragon. Only when Morgana came a-calling, promising power and revenge, was he tempted.

The fire of revenge had been kindled in his soul.

And his sister's beloved son was in the firing line.


	5. Elyan

Elyan was not a coward. When his fight or flight instinct kicked in, he normally ran but that didn't make him a coward. Running protected him, even from those who loved him. Gwen, for example. His sister was lovely but sometimes her quiet sympathy was too much for him to bear.

But when it mattered, when he was not running from his own fears, he would fight to the death. It took a lot to inspire that kind of loyalty in him.

Arthur Pendragon had accomplished this difficult feat.

So when he asked for Gwen's hand, Elyan gladly said yes.


	6. Uther

Merlin had been accused of sorcery.

Again.

It seemed that all vengeful sorcerers had decided that to get to Uther Pendragon, you needed to get to Arthur Pendragon and to get to Arthur you needed to get to Merlin. Apparently it had been decided by the masses that to get to Merlin, you needed to accuse him of sorcery.

Uther was getting very irritated with this.

He wasn't stupid! If there was sorcery going on in his castle he would know about it.

But he still had to shout dramatically and send the half amused boy to the dungeons. Most days he didn't even bother with guards. If only the sorcerers realised that accusing Merlin of sorcery was practically waving a flag in his face saying 'attempting to take over the kingdom'.

Uther wondered how long it would take for his new, foreign guests to be discovered as sorcerers themselves.


	7. Gilli

He couldn't understand. Not for a long time. Not until he met Merlin. For so long he'd though his father a traitor, weak and he'd been so ashamed of him. He'd _hated_ him.

But ultimately he had been the one who was wrong.

And it was because of Merlin he knew that. Because of him he knew how wrong he was. _Merlin_ had saved him from becoming the very traitor he'd despised in his father. He'd saved him.

When Merlin was announced Camelot's Court Sorcerer he wasn't at all surprised. Merlin was already a hero. Now everyone could see it.


	8. The Magic Book

Arthur was annoyed. Merlin, as usual, was off somewhere doing something that wasn't his chores and Arthur was trying to find him.

Unlikely as it was, Arthur checked the obvious places first. He walked into Merlin's room, cursing when he found it empty. That meant Merlin could be anywhere. He kicked the floor in annoyance and then cursed again. A loose floorboard had sprung from nowhere and Arthur had just slammed his toes into it.

He scowled and then froze.

There was a book sitting in the space, with magical runes inscribed.

And Merlin's handwriting was all over the book.


	9. Power

She'd hated him at first.

But the first time she'd actually met him she couldn't focus on her destroyed plans, only on his ears, and eyes, and _power_. So much power.

And she'd tried.

But she couldn't do it.

When he'd tried to bargain his life, she'd changed the trade. She couldn't stand the thought of someone as powerful as him sacrificing himself for a Prince. For a _Pendragon_.

She saw the rage in his eyes. For the first time in years she felt fear.

And she remembered why she'd been drawn to him in the first place.

The power.


	10. Flying Free

They were a strange couple, arguably one of the strangest seen; the rogue, handsome Knight and the once flight and forgetful princess who had been transformed into an elegant Queen.

But she knew something about freedom and flight and wanting to be yourself.

And he knew something about wanting to break free of the expectations set down by society, to please the crowds rather than yourself.

And together they were all of that, free, weightless, flying like birds on horseback through the woods.

Gwaine and Elena were a strange couple.

But they were more alike than anyone could ever say.


	11. Are You Irked By My Smirk?

_This was something I saw on NotQuiteBeserk's profile a long time ago and it interested me so I wrote it down xx I found the paper last week and decided to write this xx Please read and review xx_

Several secrets had been revealed. A furious Morgana had found out about Merlin's magic (she was also evil). So had Arthur (he wasn't).

However Arthur hadn't found out about Morgana's new allegiances and Merlin hadn't told him yet – he was, unfortunately, too busy with the druids and he was around to keep an eye on her.

Morgana took great pleasure taunting him with this fact – generally in public.

To Arthur, everything that Morgana did irritated Merlin. He couldn't understand their sudden hatred of each other.

Over the Round Table, Merlin scowled darkly at Morgana.

"Are you irked by my smirk?"


	12. Oblivious

Merlin was his best friend and knew him better than he knew himself. But he was a bit blind to the obvious. He didn't get it - he had helped Arthur on his quest because Merlin had asked, not because Arthur had needed his help.

He'd stayed on Camelot to see Merlin, not to become a Knight. He could do that anywhere, if he was willing to reveal his identity.

The rest of the Knights could see. They'd all warned him; threatened him with bodily harm if he hurt their friend, the little brother they'd never had.

Arthur hadn't noticed.

He was too busy dancing around both Gwen and Merlin.

Gwaine wasn't blind - he saw the looks that Arthur and Merlin threw each other when they thought no one was looking. Gwaine also knew that nothing serious would happen between the two, the kingdom demanded an heir. Both Arthur and Merlin knew that.

But he knew Merlin.

It wouldn't hurt him any less in the end.

Gwaine wouldn't take advantage of him though when Merlin broke. Warnings from the Knights aside, if he lost Merlin as a friend for a single night of lust he'd never forgive himself.

He'd be there for Merlin.

Maybe one day he'd be able to appreciate that.

Maybe one day he'd be able to appreciate that.

Merlin was a bit clueless and sometimes it broke Gwaine's heart.

But he wouldn't have him any other way.


	13. Boundaries

**This one is a Merlin/Elena (bit of a strange pairing but it came to me) xx**

She was different. She was scatter-brained and funny and utterly inelegant and he supposed that was why he stood a chance with her. She didn't care about social boundaries - she never had and she never would. Growing up a princess in a small kingdom had taught her that true friends were hard to come by.

Everyone in Camelot had told her he was the truest friend around. And slowly their friendship had deepened beyond the accepted social boundaries but both of them were used to that.

She had made friends of peasant children as a lonely girl.

He had made friends with a prince due to his refusal to back down and sharp wit.

They weren't a perfect match, but they were better than most.

And that was why it worked.


	14. First Impressions

**This is kind of onesided!Merlin/Mithian xx It's a bit of a new idea for me so please review with what you think! xx**

He'd hated her at first. Hated her, not for who she was, but for what she represented. She represented his failure. But he could handle that.

It was Arthur's failure he couldn't handle, even when Arthur didn't know he was failing. This was Destiny's test and he couldn't even tell his King he was being tried, let alone that he was failing.

She'd grown on him.

It was hard for her not to.

She noticed him. And more than that, she'd seen the relationship between him and Arthur and tried to befriend him because of that, despite his status as a servant.

She was definitely unique.

So when she'd left he couldn't help but hope she'd never have to.


	15. The Stocks

**This one is a prompt - from my mum actually (which is a bit weird) xx Please read and review :)**

Merlin had been in the stocks for many reasons. Most of them involved covering for Arthur or being accessed of sorcery by the King. It was always 'proven' otherwise but apparently Merlin still had to be humiliated. But he had to say this was possibly the worst situation.

He supposed he'd been lucky. It could've been worse - he could've been far more severely punished - he could've been flogged. It was only at Arthur's intervention he hadn't been.

He'd been caught stealing a pig. Merlin had needed it to help Arthur but it was very bad he'd been caught - but it had been urgent and it was the only farm around. It wasn't his fault they'd been in the countryside.

But it was bad he'd been caught. He hated the stocks.


	16. Memories

It was Arthur and Gwen's wedding. All of the Knights had been there, and Gaius, and Merlin.

Merlin who had vanished half-way through the after party.

He found Merlin sobbing by the side of a lake. It was a cold day, but the sun was shining and with the warlock's darkening mood it was unlikely to stay pleasant for much longer.

Merlin was curled up in a ball, his jacket wrapped tightly around him and face buried in his neckerchief. Gwaine sat beside him and threw an arm around the trembling frame.

"Who was she?"

"Freya. My Freya."

Neither spoke again until they were back at the castle.


	17. Love and Hate

Hate was such a strong word.

But Nimueh was a strong person. Strong words suited her – a woman that hated weakness in herself but loved to exploit it in others.

Love was another word. It was used as often as hate but was far weaker. It gave you a chance to exploit – something she was so very good at.

Combining love and hate often lead to something like obsession, something she wasn't pleased to admit. She obsessed over Uther.

It had lead to hundreds of deaths in the Great Purge.

She looked at the results of her moment of weakness and wished she'd hated Uther more than she'd loved him.


	18. Family

Morgana hated Uther for many reasons. He was a hypocrite and a murderer and had a foul temper which meant he punished anyone who disagreed with him, even his ward (his daughter).

He hadn't even told her that he was her father. She had to find out due to an almost fatal accident.

He hadn't told her Arthur was her brother (half-brother). _He_ was pushing for them to be in a romantic relationship.

And he hadn't told her she had a sister. Morgause was the best family she'd ever known and she'd missed out on so much because of Uther.

He hadn't told her she still had family – even when she was ten years old, moving to Camelot after thinking she'd been orphaned and she was so very frightened.

She could've had a family then. But she didn't.

She hated Uther for that.


	19. Knocking

** This is a post-magic reveal! And the first one I've gone that's dialogue only. Please read and review xx**

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

"Oh I really do."

"No you don't."

"I'd like to think I'd know whether or not I hated you."

"I'd like to think you knew how to put your own clothes on. Guess we're both wrong."

"Have I mentioned I hate you yet?"

"Maybe once or twice, prat."

"Remind me, why did I make killing a sorcerer illegal again?"

"Because it's wrong and bad and causes more problems than it solves?"

"Yeah. That's why I was thinking of killing a warlock."

"That's a bit harsh, Arthur, isn't it?"

"Not at all."

"Well, I told you not to come in if the door's closed, or at least knock."

"I did knock! You're the one with a problem with knocking."

"Maybe _next_ time you'll knock."

"I did! And how is it my fault?"

"You came in at a really inopportune moment."

"Inopportune moment? Merlin, you turned me into a girl!"


	20. Revelations

Gwen couldn't believe it. It was breaking the law, criminal activity. It was _Merlin_. Merlin was breaking the law and participating in criminal activity.

Actually she could believe it.

Look at how many times he'd gotten arrested.

She was staring wide-eyed at the fluttering lights that were whizzing around the room like racing cars, almost impossible to see. She strained her eyes to follow one. "That's..."

"Pretty? Gorgeous? Mesmerising?" Merlin smirked slightly.

"Mildly irritating. I'm getting a headache."

Merlin's jaw actually dropped.

"I can't say anyone else reacted to my secret quite that way."

"Good. It will stop your head from getting bigger."

"Shouldn't you be saying that to Arthur?"

"Probably. Now can you show me something that's less likely to give me a headache? It's three o'clock in the morning and its _way_ too early for this."


	21. Kissing

**This chapter, the last one and the next one (hopefully) are set in the same universe xx**

"What?"

"She's a really good kisser."

"What!"

"Really, _really_ good," Merlin slurred.

"How would you know that?" Lancelot asked, incredulous.

"She fancied me."

"_What?_"

"It was a couple of years ago. She got over it not long before you came to Camelot."

"How do you know she's a good kisser?" Lancelot was having increasing trouble with this conversation.

"I almost died drinking poison for the prat. Gwen was just happy I didn't die."

"So she kissed you.

"Yeah." Merlin promptly passed out, surrounded by six empty tankards.

(Lancelot was the only person Merlin would let get him drunk. After all, they didn't have any secrets, did they?)


	22. Misunderstandings

**This is set in the same universe as the last two xx Please read and review :)**

"How could you tell Lancelot before you told me?" Arthur asked sounding betrayed.

"It was an accident that he found out. It's not like I willingly told him."

"_Merlin!_" Arthur shouted, throwing his servant a dark glower for the secret that had just been revealed.

Merlin started running.

Gwen saw the pair of them running across the courtyard and realised what had happened.

"Arthur! Arthur, it's not his fault."

Both of them ignored their Queen, Merlin running faster, almost barrelling into Leon and actually colliding with Gwaine.

"What's upset the Princess this time, mate?"

Merlin took one look at the steadily advancing Arthur and took off, shouting, "He just found out I kissed Gwen before he did."


	23. Make Believe

She couldn't believe she was doing this - she didn't know _why_ she was doing this.

This was her sister.

Was.

Soon she'd be alone again - with only her father and half-brother, not that she was exactly on speaking terms with either of them. Technically, she wasn't even allowed in the same kingdom as them.

Morgause was the only one she had left.

And Morgause was the one that asked her to do this.

She wanted this.

They both wanted this.

That was the only thought running through her head as she plunged the knife down.

And she still couldn't make herself believe it.


	24. Love and Marriage

It was almost unheard of - going to the wedding of a man you were meant to wed. That was, she supposed, a side effect of arranged marriages. You either went through with the marriage or died. There wasn't exactly a large precedence when you married for love - not in her class.

By she was invited anyway - and she really liked the newly crowned Queen Guinevere, who was kind hearted, strong, brave and a friend to the people (having been one herself). She was the kind of ruler Camelot needed. Mithian could've managed that, maybe, but she wouldn't have managed to gain Arthur's affections as well.

She was really quite glad that he'd stopped the marriage from happening.

Maybe she'd be able to find love for herself now.


	25. Sorcery

"You have been found guilty of sorcery. Burn him at the stake."

Merlin rolled his eyes.

Uther puffed with indignation.

"Now!"

The frightened guards scurried out to the courtyard, attempting to drag Merlin behind them. They barely made it out of the throne room before Merlin huffed, pulled his arms free, and strode down to the pyre, the guards trailing nervously behind him.

Within minutes a large group of people were huddled around the pyre, tearful and clutching handkerchiefs.

Arthur stood on the balcony, distinctly _not_ tearful.

Uther lowered his arm slowly and dramatically.

The fire was lit.

Nothing happened. The fire was spreading, reaching Merlin, and _nothing_ was happening.

Merlin's eyes flashed gold, and the fire receded.

Feeling contrary and dramatic, he yelled, "Long live King Arthur," before he vanished in a whirl of smoke.

Uther swelled like a bull frog. This was _his_ Kingdom.


	26. Betrayal

Princes didn't often make friends. Neither did Kings. It was hard to know who was using you for favours, sucking up (just to get those favours) or going to stab you in the back the minute you turned away.

So you learned to go both ways. Hurt them before they hurt you.

When he'd gotten married he'd stopped that practice. And when she'd died it had come back with a vengeance.

Uther tried to pretend the look on Balinor's face was a little more like outrage than betrayal.

Twenty years later he couldn't help but see a mirror.

Maybe this time it would go differently, with a little less betrayal and a lot less magic. Well, he could dream. And order executions.


	27. The Dark Tower

**I wrote this after seeing the new episode of Merlin x Please read and review xx**

Another track of the thick black ooze dripped down her cheek. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Manic giggling echoed in the room. Again and again she spun, trying to catch the source of the noise until she collapsed into a heap on the floor, faint with dizziness and exhaustion.

She did not get back up.

The giggling and screaming continued to taunt her as she fisted her hands over her ears, whimpering and moaning. "No...no...no."

She shivered in her thin dress, not suited to the cold and damp conditions she was held in.

Alone in the dark, Guinevere Pendragon screamed.


	28. Queues

She'd finally heard - Lancelot was dead. If she was a lesser person she might be too busy feeling sorry for herself to care how anyone else had been hurt by her actions; but Lancelot, and Arthur, oh god, _Arthur_. She couldn't see anything but their faces and she wished she could be selfish so as to forget how they looked.

Arthur, who had been betrayed by his fiancé and one of his closest Knights. Betrayal seemed to be setting a pattern for Pendragons, particularly from those closest to them.

Gwen was just the latest in a line that would only get longer.


	29. Darkened Memories

All Kilgharrah could feel was the darkness and the cold. He'd been trapped down here for years, forgotten in the dark, by even Uther. Even the guards had been ordered away from the gates and most people had never even known that there was a cavern underneath Camelot, never mind one that was currently housing a dragon.

Kilgharrah roared in fury, alone in the darkness, golden eyes glinting, as if by magic, in the reflection of light that did not exist.

And behind the golden irises came the flashes of colour and memory of a future that was yet to pass.


	30. Darkness

When she'd left the Dark Tower - far, far behind her physically, ever present in her mind - all she could feel was pain, her brother was dead, she'd been emotionally tortured, until she couldn't cope anymore. She didn't even know how long she'd been trapped there, alone in the cold darkness.

And Arthur had left her there.

Morgana had shown her- Arthur had abandoned her once again and the fury built up until she could barely constrain it, a tsunami of rage ad hurt she couldn't contain. But she tried to, until should couldn't anymore.

This time she surrendered to the darkness.


	31. Mistrust

Sometimes he watched Mordred and truly believed that the younger man was nothing but an honourable Knight. He was earnest and undeniably devoted to the King, following him into dangerous situations and rescuing him from others. He was quiet and solemn and the other Knights respected both him and his skill, a prestigious warrior in his own right.

But other times Merlin watched him out of the corner of his eyes and imagined he saw a darker glint, one that told of lies and dishonesty, of betrayal.

He'd already seen how fast Mordred's loyalties could change, with a knife in Morgana's back.


	32. Guts

"I'd never have a friend who could be such an ass."

Who was this boy to speak to Prince Arthur like this? Who was this odd stranger, foreign to the rules of society? A lowly peasant boy, barely a man, insulting the future King of Camelot in front of his Knights and his servants, _humiliating_, him.

Where had this strange, insolent boy come from? Who was he? Why was he challenging Arthur - who did he think he was?

"How long have you been training to be a prat, my Lord?"

Whoever he was, Arthur had to admire his guts.


	33. Listening

**This is set in 1.13 when Arthur is bitten by the Questing Beast xx**

Pain. All he could register was the fiery hot pain, roaring through his veins. There was nothing but the agony and the darkness, not for what seemed like hours. He prayed for his guardian angel.

Out of the darkness came a voice. It sounded like _Merlin's_. Well Merlin certainly wasn't his guardian angel.

Merlin was saying something - he didn't know what, and right now the pain was too intense for him to care. If it was that important Merlin could tell him later.

Then it was dark again, with nothing but the ache that was slowly receding into the darkness. He could hear Guinevere - and this time he was listening.

She was much more pleasing to listen to.


	34. What Would I Do For You

In his time working for Arthur as his secret protector, Merlin had done many things.

He'd drunk poison, defeated evil sorceresses, aged himself, defeated evil sorcer_ers_, defeated immortal armies, battled some bandits and ordered a dragon or two around.

He'd had goblets thrown at him and fallen down stairs and mopped more floors than he cared to think about.

But this, _this_, really took the cake. He was dressing up as a woman. An _old_ woman.

Arthur had already caught him in Gwen's wardrobe and carrying Morgana's dresses around.

Dear god, when Arthur found out the truth Merlin would never hear the end of this.


	35. Safe

He didn't really know why he was risking his life for an arrogant prat - he'd only known the Prince for a few weeks and had already saved his life multiple times. But there was something about him, something that foreshadowed greatness and the future the dragon spoke of.

Merlin supposed that his life would be worth it - for that. if Bayard wanted war that's what he'd get, but not at the expense of Arthur's life.

(Even if Uther was a complete clotpole about it.)

And as the edges of the darkness closed in, Merlin was glad that Arthur was safe.


	36. Try And Try Again

Why did everyone try to same things?

Everyone tried to kill Arthur. All of them failed (maybe, just maybe, there was a pattern emerging and they should try something new).

Everyone tried to take over Camelot (and that was failing just as badly. Please get a new hobby.)

Everyone tried a dramatic speech when they tried to take over (and that gave Merlin plenty of time to stop them, somewhere about the two minute mark).

And everyone tried poison. Morgana, Nimueh - even Merlin himself. (Please stop. It was normally Merlin they were trying to poison, although he hadn't managed to poison himself - yet.)


	37. Never Meet Your Heroes

He isn't quite sure why Emrys hates him so much.

Even from the very beginning, back in the tunnels under Camelot, Emrys has seemed to distrust him. He cannot think why. Ever since he was a small child he has wanted to meet Emrys, the greatest and most powerful warlock of all; and he cannot fathom why someone of such power would want to hid behind a facade of manservant Merlin.

But this is _Emrys_ and he's not going to ask.

The next time they meet Emrys tries to get him killed at the hands Camelot's knights.

And again, years later.

But its aright. By that time Mordred knew he would never trust Emrys again.


	38. Daegal

He knew what it was like to go hungry far too well. He'd lived most of his life with that feeling and it wasn't going to go away now. But he thought that maybe one day he'd have a better life, one where he didn't have to scrounge and steal. So when Morgana offered him that chance he couldn't help but take it.

It wasn't until the forest he realised he was losing who he was in the process. No matter how safe his mother would've wanted him to be she would have wanted him to stay true to himself in the process.

And anyway he could tell, Merlin would be worth it.


	39. Drunk

**Was listening to Ed Sheeran's drunk...**

For some reason Merlin couldn't get drunk (well he thought it was because of his magic, but he'd never really proved it either way and it made _sense_).

He supposed he'd not really tried before.

Farm boys in small villages couldn't exactly get themselves sloshed after all and the Prince's servant couldn't get caught drunk, but he'd tried often enough that he'd realised there was something off with him and his consuming of alcohol.

At first he'd been slightly disappointed he couldn't get drunk (it's something everyone tries once. Apparently.)

But then he met Gwaine. And found that he was just fine the way he was, sober and all.


	40. Witch Sister

In the darkness she screamed. She was almost alone, almost forgotten, but for the people who stopped by to torment her and her companion, her witch sister. She grew by the day contorting into something twisted as the weeks past and her cage shrunk. She couldn't even eat without fear of harming the seer.

The seer was important. She knew that. It was why she'd saved her in the first place.

How she was important Aithusa didn't know yet. it was an odd feeling, one telling her that her sister must live to this point and she couldn't tell anymore where the feeling ending and her own feelings began.

Maybe it was just Fate.


	41. Destiny Of Mine

Mordred was, quite frankly, fed up with Emrys. The older man refused to trust him, instead finding faults in everything that he did and trying to get Arthur to mistrust him.

He was not going to stand for it any longer.

So when Emrys started giving him suspicious looks again when he left to use the bathroom, he snapped. "What the hell makes you distrust me?"

Emrys looked confused for a moment before a mask of suspicion slid over his face. "You really don't know."

"If I did I wouldn't be asking."

"It's your destiny."

"It's my what? You know my destiny?"

Emrys nodded. "You really don't know? You've been destined to betray us all and murder Arthur. I thought it was obvious."

Mordred gaped. When Emrys put it like that...


	42. Leon

Okay, the first few times it had happened it was fine. He understood that it got messy in battles, and sometimes you left people behind and sometimes _you_ hand to leave people behind to get more seriously injured people home, but seriously. This was ridiculous.

He'd been left to make his own way home over thirty times.

Once or twice he could understand.

Thirty times. No.

And to be quite frank, it was annoying. He spent more of his time travelling the kingdom than protecting it - it wasn't like they left him a horse when he went. His poor feet barely got a rest.

Okay, next time they were called out to deal with some dangerous beast Leon just wasn't going.


	43. Trust

For a long time he hadn't trusted anyone with Arthur's safety. As a young man, still a teenager, he'd been entrusted with the prince's safety and he didn't want _anyone_ to mess that up.

So he never left the Prince alone.

He didn't let the other knights injure him seriously in training.

He refused to let ordinary citizens near him until they'd been thoroughly checked out by the castle security.

He was suspicious of everyone. It was in his job description.

But then Merlin had become the Prince's manservant. He was incompetent but somehow endearing at the same time. He was a complicated layer of masks.

It wasn't until Merlin had been with Arthur for two years that Leon realised he trusted him.

And surprisingly he was okay with that.


	44. Candle

Even years later, she couldn't quite believe it.

She had turned against her family, not knowing it then, and then knowing it later. She'd betrayed them to their worst fears, become what they loathed more than anything else.

She had become feared, not loved. A figure of hatred, not admiration. Her life had changed forever.

She was a Priestess of the Old Religion.

Her throne had been usurped by a lowly serving girl, her _own_ maid. Her brother had apparently become a King of Legend, the Once and Future King, and she wouldn't ever be a part of that.

And it had all started with the flame of a candle and a flash of golden eyes.


	45. Long Live The King

His father is dead.

It is the sorcerers fault - the old one, that Gaius trusted, that _Arthur_ trusted. It is _his _fault, the old man's. And when Gaius says that it was an accident he is lying, because it is the old man's _fault_.

It is Morgana's fault - she must have slipped past the guards, gotten a man on the inside, gotten into the castle _somehow_. Because it has to be her fault.

Because if it isn't Morgana's fault (it must be) and it isn't the old sorcerer fault (it is) then all that's left to blame is himself.

It is Arthur's fault Uther Pendragon is dead.


	46. Tinsel

**Festive one... My friend gave me the prompt tinsel xx**

"What is this?" Arthur sounded confused.

Merlin replied brightly, "A bauble."

"No. It's a Christmas pudding. Did you steal this from the cook?"

Merlin sounded exasperated. "No! You're the fifth person to tell me it's a Christmas pudding today! It just looks like one."

"Okay." Arthur attempted to sound nonchalant, and failed miserably.

"It's to go on the tree."

"What tree?" Arthur asked warily.

"That one," Merlin said cheerfully pointing a finger at the corner of the room where a gaudy looking _thing_ was sitting.

Arthur gaped at the colourful monstrosity. "That...is not a tree."

"Of course it is."

"Where's the star?"

Merlin cocked his head to the side and hummed. "Hiding. It is there. Somewhere..."

"What's that?" Arthur asked indicating something colourful and sparkly that should _not_ be anywhere near his rooms.

"Tinsel!"


	47. Disappointment

It had been a very long time since Merlin had disappointed him. In fact, Arthur didn't think he ever had before - Merlin had a habit of doing the unpredictable - often, which meant that almost everything he did surprised him and he didn't really have time to be disappointed.

But still, everything rested on the Battle of Camlann. The result of that battle decided the fate of the Kingdom, the people, the future.

And, despite all of the things they'd been through together, Merlin _wasn't_ coming. He was choosing to abandon them.

And he wouldn't tell them why. Arthur wasn't stupid. He knew Merlin wouldn't abandon them over something as simple as an errand.

Arthur had never felt this disappointed in his friend.


	48. Promises

He'd promised that he'd take care of Arthur.

And he'd promised that he'd take care of Merlin.

What with the mess they were in, someone was going to get hurt. Merlin was apparently powerless against the Dorocha and Arthur who was just as helpless against magic as usual, only now his Guardian Angel was powerless as well.

Make that someone was going to get killed.

Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life to repair the tear in the veil.

And Merlin wasn't willing to let him do it.

So Lancelot, for Merlin, for Arthur, for Gwen, knew what he needed to do.

He didn't regret it at all.


	49. Agony

Gwaine was screaming. He could hear it, through the fogginess of his brain after the blow to the head and it pierced the mist and swept it aside.

All he could hear was Gwaine's scream, reverberating inside his ears, like an echo. Only it wasn't an echo. It was scream after scream after scream, each quieter than the last - as though Gwaine was giving up.

Gwaine couldn't give up - he was the most upbeat and _alive_ out of all of them.

So Percival pulled on the ropes, until the blood ran down his wrists, because Gwaine needed him right now and he wouldn't let his brother down,


	50. Pity

When he looked at her he saw nothing more than waste. She'd once been so beautiful, so loved. Her goodness had been so strong it had practically emitted from her, strengthening her outer beauty into something otherworldly.

Now that was gone, twisted, until the only thing she exuded was hatred. It wasn't even power. It was the absolute loathing of _everything_ and made her more detestable to look at that the torn clothes, matted hair and mud caked face. She was deranged and had the bared teeth and snarl to prove it.

When Merlin looked at her all he could feel was pity.


	51. Maybe

Arthur and his Knights - and Merlin of course - go on a fairly routine hunt for bandits - there have been rumours and stories from people in the area about being attacked, so the King sends Arthur to deal with it.

It's going normally - the bandits are losing and the Knights are winning.

And then Merlin is on his back with a knife sticking out of his chest and Arthur couldn't care less anymore.

Merlin was hurt.

Merlin was defenceless.

Merlin could die.

Merlin had been hurt - because he wasn't protected, wasn't wearing armour. It was _his_ fault.


	52. Not My Fault

**This is post reveal xx Please read and review!**

Merlin looks Arthur in the eye reproachfully. "It wasn't my fault."

Arthur merely glares at him in response.

"Really. You should know better by now than trying to sneak up on me. I've told you not to before." Merlin puts his hands on his hips, hardly believing the situation Arthur had just gotten them in to.

Again he receives no reply.

"You're much quieter like this. It's nice. Maybe it could be permanent?"

A death glare.

Merlin puts his hands up placatingly. "Alright, alright!"

Arthur croaks.

Gwen walks in, looking slightly disturbed at the scene. "Is that a frog?"

"No. It's your husband."


	53. Wardrobe Malfunctions

He could dress himself. Really he could.

It was only sometimes, when they had laces in stupid places and random buttons that he sometimes needed Merlin's help to sort that out. But that was only occasionally. He was fine on his own.

Really.

So it was actually the shirts fault for being so complicated and not Arthur's fault at all. So take that, Merlin.

And just because the laces managed to attach themselves to the screen and take you down with it doesn't mean you get the day off, Merlin. It's your own fault for standing there.

And you're going to have to sew new buttons onto this shirt.


	54. Alone On The Water

It is dark and cold and damp. He doesn't know how many years have passed, just that they have. He can feel it, on the round, in the sky. He grieves for his wife, for his friends - all of them. Even for the treacherous sorcerer Merlin who perhaps wasn't so treacherous after all. Right now he wouldn't really care.

He is alone.

He will always be alone, until he goes back under the surface and he thinks he can hear them whisper in his ears, like shadows.

Then, "Come on, prat."

Arthur Pendragon opens his eyes. Maybe he isn't so alone after all.


	55. New Beginnings

**As requested by The Ticking Clock x Please read and review x**

He can still feel the chill on his bones, the water seeping through, right down to his very soul. He is still wearing his armour, and thinks that is what has been weighing him down for however many years it's been since his wife died and his Kingdom fell.

Merlin's voice is still speaking, but out of the mouth of the old sorcerer who killed his father and something like betrayal shoots through him and he suppresses it because he really should be used to it by now.

Then Merlin smiles and everything is alright and its seems like the years are melting off his face - no, they actually are.

They sit by the side of Lake Avalon, as young as they had been on the day they met, and everything is right again.


	56. Questionning

**This is for EnglishRose1999 x**

Gwaine had found out about his magic. He supposed that it was about time his luck ran out - even Arthur and Morgana couldn't remain oblivious _forever_, no matter how much they might like to be.

Gwaine, he was fine about. Mostly. He was slightly worried about what might come out at the Tavern, but with Gwaine's well known tolerance for alcohol he would tell the whole world he was secretly a donkey before telling them Merlin was a warlock.

No, it was the questions that were doing his head in.

Could he make mead?

Could he make ale?

Could he make horses fly?

Why couldn't he?

Could _he_ fly?

If Merlin got asked _one_ more question then he was going to take back what he said about turning people into frogs and try it anyway.


	57. Not Now

Queen Guinevere Pendragon waits by the window. She isn't Gwen - not now. She can't afford to be. Not whilst her husband, her King, is missing and injured.

Not whilst her Kingdom was panicked and hysterical, not knowing where their King was, not knowing where Morgana was, not knowing how the battle had turned out.

Not whilst her Knights were wandering off to face dangerous witches by themselves and innocent looking girls were actually spies.

She couldn't afford weakness.

So it was Queen Guinevere who waited at the window for her King to come home, not Gwen waiting for her husband.


	58. Avenged

She smiles as she draws the knife, all she'd ever wanted for her people. For those that were already dead to be avenged.

But she is stopped. By magic. She turns to Mordred and finds him just as surprised, if not confused. The King who denounces magic has it on his side.

Kara laughs.

But she is still ready to avenge - for all the dead, her mother, her brothers, her sister.

The dead do not rise.

And she is willing to die herself if it means they will be avenged. She has nothing left to live for - not now that Mordred is a Knight.

She doesn't need to rise if she is avenged.


	59. I Am NOT Cute

"Awww!"Gwen cooed, barely restraining herself from picking the scamp up.

Even Arthur couldn't restrain the smile tugging at his mouth as tiny four (almost _five_, as they had been repeatedly told) year old Merlin launched himself off the bed onto Percival's back, squealing with delight.

Gwaine laughed. "I know I shouldn't enjoy this, but I really do."

Leon ruffled the boy's raven hair. "I know. He's so cute like this."

Merlin, hearing himself referenced as _cute_, turned to them, scowling adorably and shaking his messy mop of hair. "I am _not_ cute!"

The Knights laughed.

Elyan ruffled his hair.

Merlin pouted.


	60. Alator

As a member of the Catha he'd been in the ancient ways and prophecies of the old Religion, and taught to fellow its teachings as by way of the bible. He had always been good and devoted to his studies, even for a Catha.

Which is why he'd been so surprised that he hadn't known Emrys on sight.

Actually, it wasn't that odd. The man's - if he could even be called that - magic was subtle, but powerful, and natural.

He was everything Alator had believed in, ever since he was a child.

And Alator would not give that up for anyone, not even Morgana's torture.


	61. Past Lives

She's Jenny.

She's Gwyneth.

She's Guinevere.

She's a waitress.

She's the Once and Future Queen.

She's a maidservant, a shop assistant, a healer.

She only remembers her lives when she turns twenty-one, each life at a time, piling on top of her until she is twenty different people at once. It is confusing and scary and she thinks that in one life it actually drove her mad. In another it had her burnt as a witch (a fate she'd actually escaped in Camelot, in the end. She thinks.)

She remembers Elyan.

She remembers Merlin.

She remembers Arthur.

She is Guinevere Pendragon (And Gwyneth Jones and Ginny Robb and Jenny Highcliff.)


	62. When Hunting Goes Wrong

"Aha" The evil sorcerer shouted as he teleported in front of them. Magically.

"No!" yelled Arthur dramatically as his fellow Knights started to fall for no apparent reason.

Merlin bit his lip. He supposed now was a good time to use magic. But Arthur wasn't conveniently unconscious yet. This would be difficult.

Maybe he could knock Arthur out?

A tree branch crashed helpfully to the forest floor. And missed Arthur.

Merlin swore.

Another branch fell, this time clocking the Prince on the head where he collapsed to the floor. It looked like it hurt.

The evil sorcerer looked around in confusion.

Merlin rolled his eyes and blasted him into ashes. This was just not his day.


	63. Taken

Panic gripped his heart. His people, _his_ people, had been falling asleep and collapsing all over the place by the result of some nefarious enchantment and now Morgana, _his_ foster sister, had been kidnapped by the treacherous, lying witch that was Morgause. Morgause who had almost tricked him into killing his father now had her witchy little hands on Morgana.

Who knew what she'd be like when she came back?

(He ignored the little voice in his head that said _if_ she came back.)

Morgause had his adopted sister. They were almost like _real_ family.

He wouldn't stop looking until he'd found her.


	64. Watch and Wait

As a child Gwaine had loved hanging at the windows of their home. It wasn't a castle but it was large, with three floors. He'd wait and watch out into the snow, watching for his father to come home.

When he did his father would sit in the armchair by the fire and his mother would sit on the rug with him, both of them listening to his father's tales of his journeys - the things he's seen, the things he'd fought.

Five year old Gwaine had listened avidly, eyes glistening in the firelight.

They had spent every winter doing that.

Until his father hadn't come home.

And the year after they hadn't had the fireplace, the house. All they'd had was the snow and the clothes on their backs.


	65. Move

**This is set for 1.11 The Labyrinth of Gedref xx**

It was about half an hour later that Arthur woke, still lying on the sand. Merlin hadn't even bothered to move him.

How incredibly ungrateful.

In fact, Merlin was just hovering around him annoyingly, like a very persistent fly. Arthur's eyes narrowed as they lay sight on his manservant but Merlin relaxed in relief. The Prince was fine.

"Merlin!"

"Yes sire?"

"_Why_ am I lying on the ground on the beach?"

Merlin hid a smile, glad Arthur was back to being himself. "Because you're bloody heavy and it was your own fault, trying to drink that poison instead of me..."

"Merlin!"


	66. Scars

Merlin's job is dangerous. He protects the King against the many magical evils that want to kill him.

For his efforts he is scarred. He has the Serket sting running up his back and Nimueh's fireball spiralling across his front and Morgana all over him. He has sword slices and griffin scratches.

He is scarred and no one notices.

He is that good at what he does. He saves all of them and hides in the shadows and everyone else around him pays the price - Will, Freya, Balinor, Lancelot.

The scars that hurt are the ones you can't see anymore.


	67. Chaos

She knew she was dreaming. Morgause had taught her how to tell the difference - her dearest, darling sister.

But even though she knew she was dreaming she couldn't repress her instinctual sparks of horror at the devastation around her - the slaughtered knights, the bloody sky, the maggots tearing their way through the battlefield.

A figure was lying on the bloody ground not far from her, twitching slightly, and a pang of pity flickered through her and her hands fisted in the sheets she couldn't see.

There was a flash of the figure's face.

It was her. Her hair was matted and filthy, with dark shadows beneath her eyes and bruises decorating her outstretched arm.

Morgana awoke with a silent scream.


	68. Cheated

As you do when you lose someone, all Merlin could think was of all the things he and Arthur hadn't done, the things they hadn't said.

They hadn't stood side by side in front of the kingdom.

They hadn't fought about Merlin's magic - he hadn't been threatened with execution, put in the stocks.

They hadn't told each other all their stories - Merlin had had so many tales to tell the king, so many debts to be paid.

They would all go unsaid now.

He hadn't told Arthur that he'd cheated with the dice, that he was sorry he'd let him go to Camlann alone.

This time it was him that had been cheated.


	69. At Last

**This is for Second daughter of Eve, who requested someone getting married - so I decided to go for the obvious one x I might right another one tomorrow... Who knows?**

Over the last few years they had been through so many hardships. They'd suffered so many losses and so many setbacks they'd almost given up. But Arthur refused to think of that right now.

Right now, at long last, he was marrying Guinevere. She would become Queen Guinevere Pendragon.

He almost leaped up at the thought.

He had loved her for so long now, and was so very desperate to be married. She seemed the same way, looking ready to run through the Throne Room, rather than walk, and she bounced on her toes like she was floating.

And then she smiled at him and he smiled back because this day was better than anything he could've dreamed of, and even better now that it was reality.


	70. To See The Stars

"Mama! Mama!"

Gwen smiled softly at her daughter. She looked like Arthur, what with her blond hair and blue eyes, but had Gwen in the slant of her nose and her chin. Sometimes it hurt to look at her.

"Yes, baby?"

"Uncle Merlin took me to see the stars!"

"He took you to the top of the Tower?"

Her daughter nodded furiously.

"Merlin?" she asked the sorcerer, who was attempting to sneak past the door without being seen.

"Ari," he mock scolded.

Arianna grinned mischievously. "Sorry, Uncle Merlin."

Gwen couldn't help the smile. She only wished that Arthur could've seen this. That he was here with them now.


	71. Return

**I know I said this would be happier, but I couldn't stop myself from writing this xx**

With a heavy gasp her eyes snapped open. She was lying limply on the wet ground, her mind spinning.

She couldn't remember anything. Who she was, how she got here.

There was a sudden burst of clarity. Freya. That was her name.

How had she gotten here, then?

She remembered a flash of pain, something sharp gleaming in the darkness, and shied away from the memories. A snow topped mountain, the sparkle on the water of a lake.

A face, dark haired and pale with eyes as blue as the lake that had been her grave.

A name.

"Merlin," she whispered.


	72. Dreaming

**This is a continuation of the last one, even if it isn't as happy as I thought it would be - it kind of wrote itself xx**

He's dreaming. He has to be.

He's dreamt this before.

He dreams that she comes back to him, that he is free to be himself, that they can get married with a dragon in the audience, the only kin he has left.

But that is nothing more than a dream, because she is dead and magic is not yet free, if it ever is.

He's dreaming.

He has to be.

But she looks so real that it hurts and he can't stop a tear from slipping down his cheek. That tear is wiped away by a hand that is not his own, a pulse that is not his beating against him.

He isn't dreaming.

But he has to be.

And he isn't.

They both laugh through their tears.


	73. Birds And Bees

Merlin _really_ wished Arthur was here for this.

Or even Gwaine, or Lancelot or anyone but him.

As godfather of Prince Amar, it was Merlin's duty to explain the birds and the bees in the absence of the King. After all the Queen couldn't be caught explaining that to him, and he had to learn it sometime, didn't he?

But why Merlin?

Hadn't he already suffered enough in his life?

Apparently not. The Fates wanted to utterly humiliate him in front of Arthur's son and everyone that was undeniably watching from the other side of the Lake of Avalon.

This _sucked_.


	74. What Could Have Been

It could have been him he thought as he watched her locked in the cage, chains wrapped tightly around her wrists, barely more than bone.

It could have been him - starving in the sewer depths of Camelot, depending on others' kindness, filthy and cold.

It could have been him, tortured night after night with what he could be capable of if he let his guard down. It almost is.

It could have been him that got the sword through his gut, bleeding out on the cobblestone of Camelot.

It wasn't.

But because it was her instead he wished it was.


	75. Magic

Strength, Courage and Magic. They all depended on each other - more so than Loyalty, Bravery and Love. Strength propped up Magic when it was needed, supporting him when he might fall. Courage ruled them, reminded them all what they could be with Magic and Love's aid.

They couldn't live alone - they _needed_ each other. Without each other they were lost, not knowing how to function by themselves.

Only now Courage and Strength were dead and Magic was left on his own, without Courage to remind him who he was or Strength to hold him up when things got difficult.

Magic was alone.


	76. Powerless

The blackness seeps through him, destroying his son. He isn't Merlin anymore. He isn't anything.

He's powerless.

He has never been powerless before, power has thrummed through his veins since before he can remember. He can tear down mountains and reshape he world with his fingertips. Only now he can't.

He is empty.

He is nothing.

His mind is brought back to when he first came to Camelot, when he'd asked Gaius if he was a monster, when he'd told the physician he'd rather die than lose his magic.

It was an apt description.

Without his magic it feels like he is already dead.


	77. Best Of Friends

She remembers the first time she met Gwen. Gwen had been barely more than eleven, herself nearly thirteen. The young girl had been chosen to be her Lady's maid as a favour to her father, who had done Uther some service.

They'd needed the money, because not even being the best blacksmith was enough to put bread on the table, particularly with the flight son and lack of mother.

Morgana had quite liked the other girl, who had seemed shy and timid, but had something of fire in her eyes, something that would need to be carefully drawn out.

She could already tell they would be the best of friends.


	78. Potato

**I like the lack of historical continuity in Merlin, and this was a prompt word, so...**

Merlin had, very quickly, become used to being in the stocks. His reputation as a fool, in spite of his position as the ward of the Court Physician, and his inability to lie to the King (he mentally snorted), had resulted in him being thrown in the stocks three times in his first week as Arthur's manservant.

During his time he'd had many things thrown at him. Tomatoes were soft but messy. Carrot were, quite frankly, painful.

Potatoes were also painful. People was particularly fond of throwing them.

But, for some odd reason, Merlin couldn't help but feel like there was something wrong with them having potatoes.


	79. Row By Row

There is something in Merlin's smile that is off. It has been for the last few days, but this is different. The last few days Merlin has looked like he's floating on air, like he's flying. Arthur caught him with one of Morgana's dresses, in the middle of the hallway, and he'd still grinned like it was the best thing ever, like nothing could go wrong.

Only now he isn't. Now it's like he's hiding pain, something in his eyes that shouldn't be there.

This morning he had all his sausages.

This morning he woke up to find all his boots neatly polished, lined up in rows, and Merlin hunched over them on the steps.

His shoulders shook like he was crying.


	80. Transformations

Her mind is a tumbling mix of animal terror and human pain, half deer, half human. She runs through the forest, feeling utterly at ease on four legs and yet somehow completely strange at the same time.

The forest is soft beneath her feet (hooves). Her ears twitch independently of each other (and isn't that strange and bewildering, and somehow the most frightening thing about this whole venture).

She can hear the hunting horn and goes towards it - she is in Camelot, and it will be Arthur. Arthur, she needs Arthur.

Only she's a deer and only half human in her head, so it really shouldn't be a surprise when she is shot.

It is though.


	81. Smirking Lessons

"A little less fang sister," Morgause tells Morgana.

Morgana drops her lip.

"We will practice this until you can do it perfectly. A perfect smirk is the art of any good villain. You must learn to smirk without being caught by your enemies."

"Yes sister," Morgana nods diligently, trying again and recoiling from her own reflection.

Morgause nods, looking disturbed. "Perhaps a little less baring of the teeth. You are killing your enemies. You don't want to eat them after."

"Very well sister."

"You will practice this at least twenty more times today."

"Yes sister." After all it will be well worth it when she is back in Camelot.


	82. Fury

He can hear the drums outside of his cell, beating closer and louder, like a heartbeat he can't escape from.

His magic is balling up in fury, writhing like its alive, as the drum beat grows faster and faster, pounding like his heart, and then they stop.

They stop.

Just like he can feel Kara's heart stop, her magic fade away like a trickle in a stream.

He screams in the cell, his magic overloading, bursting through him stronger than ever before, exploding out of him in his fury, uncontrollable.

The cell door blasts open and he vanishes off into the woods.


	83. Granted

Honestly, Merlin was fed up of being taken for granted.

Arthur only ever listened to his advice when it suited him, shouting it down as utter nonsense the rest of the time.

He had knighted all of the others, married Gwen. All of them had moved up in the world, were appreciated for their talents, whatever they may be.

All of them except Merlin. _His_ talent could get him executed, burnt at the stake, simply for being born.

But maybe it wouldn't always be that way. Maybe one day he'd been recognised for his talents - whatever they were.

Yeah, right.


	84. Duty

Arthur had a duty to his kingdom, to his people, to his Queen, to _all_ of them.

Gwen had a duty to her King, to her husband, to her people.

Gwaine had a duty to his King, to his home, as a knight, to not be truly intoxicated when his kingdom needed him.

Elyan had a duty to his sister, to his King, to his home, to his fellow knights, to not wander off again when he was needed.

Percival had a duty not to misuse his strength, to protect, to defend.

Leon had a duty to his King, to his knights, to the kingdom. To protect the King.

Lancelot had a duty to his Queen, to his King, to his home, to _Merlin_.

And Merlin had a duty to protect them all.


	85. Break

They keep on trying to break him, to make him betray Arthur.

He doesn't know how this strange group of bounty hunters knew what he was capable of, who he was, nor did he know where they'd acquired magical restraints, that inhibited the prisoners use of magic.

But boy was he going to find out.

They wanted him broken, they wanted him defeated. They wanted to twist him and use him for their own ends, for the destruction of Arthur, of Camelot, of everything he'd worked for since he'd come to the Kingdom.

Over his dead body.

He'd die before he let them break him.


	86. Second Chances

There is a boy with dark hair walking toward him, over the grounds in the middle of Warwick University, May 2013. The boy is tall, slim, _fragile_, with clear blue eyes that are the colour of the sea on minute and the sky the next.

He is blonde, with blue eyes like sapphires, and a straight back. A faint grin tugs at his mouth.

"I'm Merlin," The dark haired boy tells him.

"I know." A smile appears in his eyes. "I'm Arthur."

For the sake of the others listening Merlin says, "Nice to meet you," and then Arthur hears _'nice to see you Sire,_' in his head.


	87. Freak

He knows he is different from the other children. The other children know it too, and so do their parents. They keep their children as far away from him as possible.

The only friend he has is Will, Will who has never cared about his oddities, and his parents who have never cared either.

But Will isn't there all the time and sometimes he's all alone. And when he's alone the other kids get closer and he can't defend himself because mother told him to keep the magic secret.

The other kids can't do any of that.

He's a freak.


	88. Incorrigible

**I tried romance for once, rather than depressing stuff x I'm not sure how it works, so please let me know x**

Gwen frowned at Arthur. "You should be nicer to him."

Arthur waved a hand absent-mindedly. "Merlin doesn't mind. He's used to it."

Gwen tapped him on the nose gently. "He shouldn't have to be. He's your friend."

Arthur groaned and buried his face in his wife's neck. "Why are we talking about _Merlin_?"

"Because you're horrible to him."

"But there are much better things to talk about," he complained, nuzzling gently into her neck.

"And we would still be talking about Merlin."

"But there are much better things to do than talking," Arthur grinned wickedly at her.

"You're incorrigible," Gwen laughed.


	89. Regret

Sometimes he imagines that he told Morgana what he was capable of. She would be shocked, and then sympathetic and understanding.

And neither of them would have been alone.

When she felt scared, she would turn to him to comfort her, not to the vengeful arms of Morgause. She wouldn't have been used in the sleeping spell.

When she found out that Uther was her father she would've gone to him, asked him what she was supposed to do, and then gone out and teased Arthur because they were already siblings, only now related by blood.

And then he realises he is just imagining it, because Morgana is about as far from this as can be.

And he regrets it. Because it's his fault.


	90. Isolated

The Knights all had each other. They could tell each other anything, say whatever they liked. They were a brotherhood, of equal rank and status, even when they actually weren't.

And Merlin was always with them.

Only he couldn't say what he liked. If he did he could be killed. If he did Arthur would tell him to shut up or stop being stupid or stop being such a girl.

With them, but not part of them - not one of them.

The others had all been elevated to Knight status, had been recognised for what they had achieved.

Merlin hadn't.

He was forgotten, the manservant behind the King. He wouldn't be recognised, be welcomed, for what he did. Not now, not ever.

He was alone.


	91. Bad Day

Leon had been having a good day. He hadn't been scolded by the cook for 'borrowing' one of the scones out of the castle kitchens - in fact he hadn't been caught at all. He'd beaten everyone else at sparring on this particular day (it was good that Prince Arthur was out) and the sun was shining.

Everything was good.

Leon had been having a wonderful day, right up until Arthur had stormed past him, looking like thunder.

Well, Arthur had mood swings like Gwen. Maybe it was nothing.

Maybe it was nothing.

His day had gotten steadily worse when Merlin had attempted to rush past, claiming that Arthur was going to kill the King.

Leon's day got worse when it seemed that Merlin was right.

And then Arthur had disarmed him, whilst Leon was trying to distract him.

Okay, this day had officially gone down the drain.


	92. Unforseeable

Even Morgana herself could never have predicted they would end up like this, no matter what else her visions had shown her.

Merlin never would have guessed it.

Arthur hadn't even considered the mere idea. Why would he?

Even _Gwen_ was surprised - and that was saying something. She was almost _never_ taken by surprise. Gwen was far too astute for that. Sometimes it was rather annoying.

Morgana becoming good again.

_That_ had been wished for, and seen as a possible future, and had happened. Eventually.

Morgana marrying Gwaine.

Now _that_ was the bit none of them had ever guessed at.


	93. Arrested

"Merlin, so help me, get out of this dungeon now!"

"No."

"_Merl_in! Get out of there now!"

"No. it's comfy here."

"Merlin..."

"_Arthur..._"

"What, do you _want_ to stay in there?"

"It's nicer than the dungeons in Camelot. I would know. You keep putting me in there."

"Well maybe if you weren't such an idiot I wouldn't need to."

"And maybe if you started listening to me you wouldn't need to either. Right now I'm not having stuff thrown at me, I'm not doing chores, and I've not been called a girl."

"You're a girl. Let's go."

"Nope. Not moving."

"_Merlin!_"


	94. Afraid

There's one fear that Morgana will never admit to, not when she was a child, and especially not now that she's 'an evil traitor who wants to take over Camelot'.

She's scared of the dark.

Or, more accurately, she's scared of what could be hiding in it. She remembers the darkness of the shadows down at the bottom of the pit, and can't remember if it made her fear worse or better.

She imagines she can feel the snakes slither over her body and the spiders crawl over his skin, only she can't see them. And that's the worst bit.

She can't _see_ anything.


	95. Unhappy Endings

He looks at the boy sitting in front of him. He doesn't know anything about him, barely anything at all, but there is something familiar about the slant of his eyes and the curve of his chin and the darkness of his hair.

Merlin looks like him.

This strange, Prince's manservant is the spitting image of him as a teenager, with a hint of Hunith throw in.

This is his son, the son he'd never known about until now, and suddenly Uther has a lot more to pay for that simply driving him away from Balinor.

He can't abandon his son now - he's already done it once.

But he knows this won't end well.


	96. Bruises

**This is set directly after Lamia, in Series 4 x Please read and review x**

He blinks and suddenly his vision goes black and then opens to a scene he doesn't remember, barely a flicker of memory. Then he opens his eyes again and the memory is gone.

He closes his eyes again, five minutes later, the pattern of bruises, some shaped like hand prints, spread over skin, a thin form marred with black and blue.

Merlin.

Only Merlin has never looked at him like that, with that horrible gut-wrenching fear.

The memory is distorted, blurry around the edges, but it's more than enough to explain his behaviour over the last few days and Merlin's sudden inability to look at them.

He hurt his friend.

He will never forgive himself.


	97. Stabbing Pains

The firelight flickers, illuminating something dark in Merlin's expression - something that shouldn't be there. Arthur doesn't know what worries him more, the expression or the fact that it's on Merlin's face. He doesn't really have the energy to think about it, not with the stabbing pain in his stomach where Mordred stabbed him.

Merlin looks ready to cry, eyes sparkling, the tears only held back by the force of his determination.

"It was me," he says, and Arthur doesn't believe him.

The fire jumps, shapes and figures twisting from the flames.

Arthur can't _not_ believe him now, though he'd give anything. Everything has changed now, everything. This is a stab in the heart that hurts more than the one to the gut.


	98. Blame

**This is for B0nk3rs x Please read and review x**

Despite what Arthur thought, having caught him taking one of Morgana's dresses down the stairs when he'd been rescuing Freya, Merlin did not like wearing dresses. He was a man - he was not _supposed_ to be wearing them.

He didn't particularly want to.

But only Arthur would get into this kind of predicament where Merlin would actually be forced into a dress. Because only Arthur would be involved in something _this_ stupid - it was Arthur's fault.

No, actually it wasn't. There was someone much better to blame, even if he couldn't express it nearly as well as if it was Arthur's fault.

This was all Gaius' fault.


	99. Hatching

"Aithusa," He rasps, the name coming from somewhere deep within, something as ancient as the dragons he can command. He has never understood this, understood how the dragon tongue works, only that it does, that it is instinctive, calling to some long forgotten part of him and greeting it like a old friend.

The awe rises in his chest as he watches the egg crack, the tiny snout push forwards into open air. The dragon is tiny, tiny and white, and gorgeous.

Kilgharrah is no longer the last dragon. And that is because of him. Of all the things he's done, he thinks this is the best of them all.


	100. Demented

Arthur shook his head sadly.

Morgana shrieked in fury.

Why was _she_ the one who suffered? Hadn't her people already suffered enough?

Arthur shook his head again, this time pityingly, at the thing his sister had become.

"Camelot will be mine!" She shouted, both looking and sounding deranged, her hair actually crackling with fury and eyes glowing golden. Morgana's dress was covered in something like blood and caked in mud. Her teeth were bared, an angry snarl on her face. "It is my right!"

Where had they all gone wrong?

How had Morgana been reduced to this - this pitiful, demented, bloodthirsty creature obsessed with revenge?


	101. Pungent

"Is that you Merlin?" Arthur sniffed wearily.

Merlin looked at him. "Is what me?"

"That...smell."

Merlin threw him a mock offended look. "Are you implying I smell?"

"Yes." Arthur sniffed again and coughed. "It is!"

"What?" Merlin honestly looked confused.

"When was the last time you took a bath?"

Merlin thought. "I don't know."

"Well no wonder you stink then!"

"Oi!" Merlin actually looked offended. "We're not all Princes. We can't _all_ have baths daily." Merlin frowned at him.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, puzzled.

"Most people barely get a bath a month."

"What?" Arthur was stunned. But he'd have to think on it later. Right now he needed to direct Merlin to a bathtub.


	102. A Prince

When she was younger she'd dreamed, as all little girls do, of marrying a Prince, someone who could take her away and love her. But she was a practical girl and had grown out of those fantasies quicker than other girls her age, knowing the reality of the situation. If she was lucky she'd be a maid in the castle. If she wasn't, God knows what she would be doing.

And then Arthur had started noticing her. She'd never liked him much before - he'd been bullying and arrogant and rude. But he was changing.

And she _liked_ it. And somehow he liked her as well.

She got to marry a Prince after all.


	103. Dark

Sometimes, in the darkness, she thinks she can hear Uther, hear Morgause, hear Arthur. They whisper to her in the darkness of the night, hiding in the dark, until the shadows creep over her and into her ears and she screams.

It all seems so real in the black of the night, where every creak is an assassin and every rustle is a thief at the window. She doesn't even have to fear those sorts of things anymore, but she does anyway.

Morgana will always be afraid of the dark.

Or rather, she will be afraid of what's in it.


	104. Happy Endings

It hurts to look at them sometimes, Gwen and Arthur, because they got their happy ending - the one that he wasn't allowed.

Because of destiny. Their destiny is together, even as Arthur's is entwined with Merlin's and Gwen's tangled with Lancelot's.

But they love each other and he will not begrudge them that, even as he envies them for it. They have each other, and he knows from experience that that is the best feeling in the world, better than anything else.

Because at one time he could have had a happy ending and the same destiny decided against it.


	105. Enough

It's after one day, just like any other, that Merlin snaps. Gwen speaks to him like he is a servant, the Knights joke about things they take too far, Gaius sends him off into the forest and he nearly gets killed - as per usual - and Arthur sacks him.

Well, this time he's had enough.

Arthur has sacked him, so there's no reason to stay around. It's not like his 'friends' will notice if he leaves. They're all too busy wrapped up in each other.

So he does. He walks, because he doesn't want to be accused of stealing a royal horse, and he doesn't look back.


	106. Dingy

Merlin smiled widely at the guard.

The guard grinned back.

"Hello again, Merlin."

"Hello Tom! I didn't know you worked on Thursdays," Merlin told him.

"It's new - I just started last week. I didn't really want to, but you know what the pay's like - no one really want to work down here!"

"I can understand. Who would want to work in the dungeons? I see that Kayden didn't take my improvements into consideration."

"Yes, I'm sure it would be much better down here with a waterfall. Sadly it's not exactly likely to happen."

Merlin frowned. "I know. But it's so...dark down here. Dark and damp and dingy."

"It's the dungeons Merlin, it's not supposed to be nice. Anyway you won't be here for much longer. Normally it's only about two hours, isn't it?"


	107. Horses

As much as he complains about mucking out the horses, Merlin quite likes the animals himself. With a quick 'notice me not' ward around him, he can spend the whole afternoon talking to them, telling them the latest difficulties he's had being Arthur's silent protector, of which there are many.

The horses are never judgemental, they just snicker and whine and nose at him like he's carrying apples.

They listen and he's grateful just to talk about what he does aloud to another living thing. He can't talk to Gaius because Gaius worries too much and he can't talk to anyone else because that would get the both of them killed.

So he tells the horses.


	108. Run

When he's scared he runs. He doesn't know why, only that his fight or flight instinct kicks in faster than for other people and most of the time he runs. He's good at fighting of course - he didn't become a knight by not being capable, but for some reason he prefers to run.

He wishes he didn't.

Because it means he leaves the people he cares about behind - his father who had died in his absence and little Gwen who had grown up so much since he'd last seen her, now all woman and in a relationship with a Prince.

He'd missed enough.

He wasn't missing any more.

He wasn't running again.


	109. Treason

He knows what he's doing is foolish. He could get killed just for thinking about this, never mind actually going to do it.

He was going to kill the King. To kill the King in the name of everyone that had died, every one of his people that had suffered at Uther's hand.

It was treason just thinking about it.

And he was actually going to go ahead with it.

_Why_ was he going to go ahead with it?

All that was probably going to happen was that he would be caught and executed.

But he knew he was going to go ahead with it anyway.


	110. Growing Up

Once upon a time Arthur knew that he was actually an arrogant prat. He'd teased and tormented the servants for the mere pleasure of it - not exactly kingly behaviour.

But then Merlin had stumbled into his life, quick-witted and blunt. It was the first time someone had spoken to him like he wasn't a Prince. He was just some random noble bullying a servant.

Looking back on his behaviour that day, he was honestly ashamed.

But Merlin had changed that and Arthur hadn't even noticed until Merlin had been there for over a year.

Sure, he and Merlin tossed barbs back and forth but they didn't exactly have any serious meanings.

Arthur had grown up.


	111. Used To It

Arthur knows exactly what happens with his Knights. He didn't notice it at first, but then he thought back to when he was Knighting them at the Round Table and realised there was something odd with the picture.

Before they swear allegiance to him, they swear allegiance to Merlin. In fact he's almost expected it by now - it's a rite of passage for any proper Knight.

Before they are loyal to him, they are loyal to Merlin. That's just the way it is.

There's no point fussing about it. Perhaps he did at first, but not anymore.

He's used to it.


	112. Out Of Control

As a child, his powers had been out of control. He hadn't been able to restrain them, instead learning through experience and instinct.

He hadn't so much as learnt a spell - and he didn't want to, knowing the danger it could place his mother in.

Instead his emotions surged and his brain reacted, eyes flashing gold against the threat, whatever it may be.

Old Man Simmons perhaps, who had been yelling at him and Will for climbing one of the gnarled apple trees.

The next thing they knew, said tree was landing on poor Old Man Simmons.

He really needed to learn some control.


	113. The Dorocha

The cold sunk into his lungs, sinking into his skin until he was engulfed, drowning in it. A spurt of cold dread raced through him, carrying the fear with it.

He could feel his fingers tremble with the cold, see the ice settle on his fingertips. His limbs seized up, until he couldn't move, except for the shaking of his body that he couldn't control.

The pain rushed through his body, bringing the reality of the situation with it.

He had failed.

Arthur intended to use his life to heal the veil.

And, frozen in this terror, there was nothing he could do about it.


	114. Sorcerer

"You're a what?" Arthur shouted.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "I just told you. I know you heard me."

"Did I just hear what I thought I did?"

"That I'm a sorcerer?" Arthur choked. "Yes, you did."

"_What?_"

Merlin wasn't even paying attention, instead leaning back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. "You know, that's even more liberating than I thought it would be?"

Arthur made some kind of muffled noise.

"I mean, you haven't even threaten me with execution yet, and look..." He looked around him. "Not a sword in sight!"

He looked back to find Arthur unconscious on his bed.

"Ah! That's much more natural for when I do magic."


	115. Already Dead

Her Merlin is only a few days old.

And he is already dead.

It doesn't matter that he's still breathing, that he's wriggling around and mewling like a cat.

Because the dishes are floating and one falls to the floor where it shatters.

It doesn't matter that he's still breathing, he's already dead.

It doesn't matter what she does. Even though they aren't even in Camelot, she knows that Uther will have no problem crossing the border this close. The Knights will come for her son and burn him on a pyre or behead him or drown him.

She wonders whether it is a mercy to kill him now.


	116. Incandescent

Merlin was the light of Camelot. He always had a kind word for anyone, played with the children in the streets, used his pay to supply those in need, visited the sick and helped any passerby, whether he knew them or not.  
>Merlin had such a pure heart it shone brighter than anything. Everyone in Camelot knew him and loved him for it.<br>So when he ended up in the castle dungeons it was a big news topic.  
>And when they found out it was because of magic none of them really knew what to do. But Merlin was still Merlin and when they visited him in the dungeons he never stopped smiling.<p> 


	117. Facetious

He really shouldn't be surprised that it's Gwen who finds out about his magic first. She's always been good at spotting what other people miss, even if it's taken her this long.

They don't talk about it much ,other share looks of understanding and she helps get the Knights and Arthur out of the way when he needs to do something discretely.

Because when the pair talk, it descends into Merlin joking about ending up on the pyre and Gwen almost bursting into tears. Gwen hates it when he talks so flippantly about the possibility of his own death. She can't bear the thought, or the idea that Arthur would leave him to the pyre.


	118. Sending

Her son sends money sometimes, and letters more often, telling her all the things that have happened in Camelot. He describes everything, knowing most of the stuff he writes about she's never seen.

He tells her everything, about the people, about the castle.

He does not tell her about the magic. She has to read between the lines to see that, and speak to him in person.

She is curious, though, to see how he's grown, to see if he's started to believe in himself.

But her son is twenty-one years old and alive and that's older than she ever thought he would get, so she's glad she sent him to Camelot.


	119. Betraying The King

He wasn't quite sure when the revenge started. It began with little things, staying away when Arthur had needed him growing up, when he'd needed someone from his mother's family.

When he had finally come to Camelot it had progressed to lying and stealing and murder, whispering his plans into the ear of Morgana. It was for his revenge against Uther, not against Arthur, his sister's darling son.

It had ended in death, so much death, and betrayal. And the golden glowing eyes of his nephews servant, a sorcerer in a land that condemned magic.

Standing at the King's side. And that would be the worst betrayal of them all.


	120. Percival

His story is not as sad as other's. It is not unhappy, nor happy, ending with the untimely death of his village and the Druids sheltered nearby.

He was a small boy then, alone.

He remembers being helpless, defenceless.

So he trains and learns and grows, until he is so tall that he towers over people and so broad that he intimidates them. He is strong.

He is not powerless. Not anymore.

So he defends the weak, when they cannot defend themselves. He will fight for them because he remembers no one fighting for him and knows how that feels.

He'd never expected to become a Knight, though. He finds himself enjoying it.


	121. Ruin

Uther knows how this will end. Without an heir, his Kingdom will fall into ruin after his death, chaos and treachery spreading like wildfire until it consumes all of Camelot.

That cannot be allowed to happen.

He has not worked all his life to protect a Kingdom, only for it to end in anarchy a few short years after his death. His work is worth more than that.

It is slightly ironic then, that he spends his life fighting against sorcery, and only four years after his death is it legal again.

_And_ they have a Court Sorcerer.

Uther, from beyond the grave, throws tantrums.


	122. Alone

Arthur was his King, his friend, his soul brother. They went everywhere together. You couldn't find one without the other, not for long.

Gwen was his sister, his dearest friend, his conscience.

Gwaine was his brother, his friend. He dragged Gwaine along on most of the crazy stunts he pulled and Gwaine pulled him into taverns in return.

Percival, Leon and Elyan were his friends. They treated him like another brother, despite the fact he wasn't a Knight.

But Merlin was alone.

None of them knew him, none of them knew about the magic.

He had the best friends in the world and he was alone.


	123. Belief

The water is still, like death, only it is calm and peaceful. It represents death, all the people he's lost along the way.

It is Will.

It is Freya.

It is Balinor.

It is Lancelot.

It is Alator, and Finna, and every other person who has died because of him.

Sometimes Merlin hates himself, because when he looks out onto these waters all he can see is the reflection of them and he knows they forgive him. That makes it worse because if they hated him then he could hate himself.

But they don't. They tell him it is not his fault.

He can't believe them.


	124. Stripping Through The Masks

Gwaine grins, looking at Merlin. Merlin is the first person to ever try to look beyond the surface of flirtatious drunkard, and that makes him intriguing. Gwaine has perfected his persona so that no one can see underneath and yet this clumsy servant sees straight through it like is isn't even there.

He seems trustworthy, and nice and lots of other things that Gwaine doesn't usually use to describe people he knows.

So he tells Merlin about his father. He isn't quite sure why, he just does.

Because there is something weird about Merlin, something hidden and secret.

And Gwaine thinks it's going to be fun finding out what.


	125. Carbon Copies

In every life they come back a little different, a change in eye colour or hair colour or height. All of them except Merlin, because he doesn't exactly leave. He's never left.

They start to remember when they meet Merlin, and to be a fly on the wall at that meeting...

They keep their personalities, Gwaine a drunkard, Percival strong, Lancelot noble, Morgana evil. Sometimes she tries to resist and sometimes she doesn't even bother.

When they all turn up as carbon copies of their first life, they know it is their last. Most of them are indifferent - this reincarnation thing isn't bad but they will be glad for some peace.

Merlin is glad though. It's more than he has ever wanted.


	126. Friends

She wonders what it is about Arthur that inspires such devotion in his servant. Most of the servants she knows are perfectly willing to stab their masters in the back for a reasonable price, but this one just laughs in your face and goes off to tell him about it.

He seems to never die, no matter how she or Morgana try to do it for him, even the attack of the serkets.

What is it that makes him do this, makes him fight until he can't anymore? It can't be Arthur Pendragon.

But she doesn't know what else it could be. It seems the Pendragon has a loyal friend.

And wouldn't that hurt all the more if she could get him to switch sides?


	127. Watching Over

Gwen can't help but smile as the tears run down her cheeks. Merlin stands at her side, equally solemn and glassy eyed, as the baby's cries echo around Gaius' chambers. Gwen suppresses the instinctual urge to coo.

Gaius hands her little son over to her and she strokes his cheek softly, the tears stuck in her throat choking her. He looks like his father she thinks, passing him to his godfather.

Gwen hopes that, somewhere, Arthur is watching over his son, over the pair of them, over Merlin, over the whole _Kingdom_.

Because she wouldn't want to miss this for the world.


	128. Brother

The betrayal is like a dagger in his heart, after Morgana's, after Agravaine's, after Guinevere's.

He thought nothing at all could hurt like that, but this does. Because over the course of the years Merlin has become a brother to him, the wise older brother and the clumsy younger one, an utter contradiction.

Only he isn't, not really. That was all just an act.

The real Merlin is a sorcerer, and that means that Merlin has been hiding, that he isn't what Arthur thought he was.

And it says a lot about him that the thought hurts more than Merlin's magic.


	129. Death

The only reason he manages to keep on living after Arthur is Gaius, and Gwen, and Leon, Percival.

He manages.

He watches them die.

And he hopes that he to, will be able to soon - he cannot live like this, not with everyone gone and Camelot razed to the ground.

Only he doesn't.

He doesn't die.

He _can't_ die.

He knows that for sure, because he's tried, enough times that Gwen would be horrified and Arthur would punch him in the face before looking at him again.

Perhaps he'll die of old age.

Please let him die of old age.

And he doesn't.

He doesn't die.

This is more than torture.

This is agony.


	130. Impossible

Merlin just looks at her, not knowing what to say. This should be impossible - it _is_ impossible.

But nothing seems to stay impossible around him. He is best at breaking the most fundamental rules of magic and society's constraints saying he shouldn't be friends with a King.

He just never expected for this rule to be broken.

The world isn't kind enough to him.

She tucks a hand under his chin and gently tries to close his mouth. He realises it is open and closes it promptly.

Freya giggles and tips her head back, her hair streaming in the breeze.


	131. Dead

It is like a heartbeat pounding in the back of her head, a pulsing that never stops.

_She wants him dead_.

It drives her insane, and she can't ever get it to stop, to be quiet, not even for a moment. It is a chanting in the back of her mind, reminding her of her destiny.

_She wants him dead_.

She will not rest until she is safe from destiny, until she is Queen of Camelot, until magic is free again.

Until Arthur is dead.

Until _Emrys_ is dead.

_She wants him dead._

And he will die at her hand.


	132. Nicknames

Percival scowled at Gwaine yet again.

"Shut up! You know I don't like that nickname!"

Gwaine smirked at him cheekily before stumbling into a table and flicking his hair at one of the barmaids. "You can't blame me," He slurred.

"I _am_ blaming you. I don't care if you're drunk." Percival frowned at him as the other intoxicated Knights took up the chant. "You know I _hate_ that nickname!"

"Shame..."

Percival shook his head, considering maiming or killing Gwaine now before deciding that tomorrow's hangover would be punishment enough.

"Percy! Percy! Percy!" The other Knights repeated.

Leon and Elyan on the other hand...


	133. Job

Merlin is the worst servant ever, Arthur decides when his bath water is yet again cold, his bed is yet again not made and yet again he catches nothing when hunting.

And it's all Merlin's fault.

Because it's Merlin's job to do things like turn-down the beds and draw him a bath and keep _quiet_ when hunting (if he ever keeps quiet), and he doesn't. And he still gets paid for it.

But on the odd days when Merlin is off running an errand for Gaius, or simply _off_ somewhere, Arthur actually misses him while he's gone.

And isn't that weird?


	134. Hair Pulling

Gwen, after talking to Gwaine for barely ten minutes, already knows what he is like. That impression doesn't change after he becomes a Knight, so he's stuck with it.

So she isn't surprised that she has to intervene in a fight between two kitchen maids, but she'd much rather not do it. She tells Gwaine so, and he just laughs and looks delighted by the thought of hair pulling on his account.

Gwen _would_ threaten him with Arthur, but that would be pointless, so she threatens him with Merlin instead.

Merlin can guilt trip anyone into anything.

Hey, she never said she was going to fight fair.


	135. Trap

"This is all _your_ fault," Arthur insisted.

Merlin scowled. "No, it wasn't!"

"If it wasn't for you..."

"You would still be here, hanging upside down, only on your own."

"Hardly. I wouldn't be stupid enough to walk into the trap. It was _you_ that triggered it."

"Because you startled me!"

"I asked you to _carry_ my crossbow, not use it."

"Then maybe you shouldn't attempt to sneak up on people carrying weapons."

Arthur looked frustrated. "I'm honestly surprised you actually fired anything."

Merlin scowled at him again. "I'm not. And I'm tempted to do so again if you keep on like this."

Arthur spluttered. "I'm your King, you can't talk to me like that..."


	136. Connect

Gwen didn't know quite why she liked Merlin. He was funny and adorable and kind. All the things she wanted in a husband. And it wasn't like she could be expected to marry any better than another servant, perhaps someone from the Lower Town.

Merlin was lovely - and they seemed to click in a way she didn't with other people. She wondered why that was, but it didn't really matter. At that mattered was that they _did_ connect, and better than she ever had with anyone else.

Now all that mattered was attracting Merlin's attention (that was the part she wasn't too good at).


	137. Avalon

He opened his eyes. Or at least he thought he did, but all he could see was water so he couldn't have.

So he tried again.

And still he saw water.

There was a soft giggling from a few metres away and he tried to sit up. His first attempt sent stabbing pains through him so the second time was done more slowly.

A young girl was perched a few feet away, with dark hair and a dress that looked vaguely familiar.

"I'm Freya," She said.

Arthur just stared at her, lost. Where was he? Where was Merlin?

"Welcome to Avalon."

_What?_


	138. A Good Friend

Will always knew that was something different about Merlin. He was always hiding away and scurrying away. He spent his time rescuing small animals from trees and streams and defending other people.

Most of the time it got him beaten up by the other, older children.

But Merlin never stopped - and it never failed to impress Will. Most of the children in Ealdor were, quite frankly, _boring_, and nothing interesting would happen around them.

This boy had guts, more so than the others in this village, and they were extremely close in age.

Maybe Merlin would make a good friend.


	139. Forgiven

He believed Morgana when she said she'd forgiven him. Perhaps it was childish, given what she was destined to do, but the Morgana he'd known was kind and good and caring. She would forgive a friend for anything.

But this Morgana had been taken by Morgause, so who knew what had happened. It was belief that had him think she'd forgiven him for the poison, but he knew he was only hoping.

So he wasn't all that surprised when she went to meet with Morgause. Morgana wasn't herself anymore, she was the person she had been destined to become.

That was his fault.


	140. Lucky

Gwen really is a very lucky woman, Morgana knows, to have the affection of someone like Merlin, who is willing to confess to magic to stop her from being burnt at the stake. She is glad that Arthur intervened, though, because she would've hated to see Merlin burn.

It makes her believe in fairy tales, to see Merlin love Gwen like that, her ladies maid, her _friend_. Gwen deserves someone like that, she's the kindest and sweetest person that Morgana knows.

She wonders, though, at the odd combination of fear and relief she saw in Merlin's eyes when she told him she knew.


	141. Perhaps

The fire licks at his toes and yet he can't feel anything over the sting of utter betrayal, the look of hatred and deadness in Arthur's eyes as he ordered the execution of his manservant. Gwen came to him in the dungeons, promising that it wouldn't go ahead, that Arthur was just angry at the minute.

He can't bring himself to listen to her making excuses.

Gwaine comes the night before, armed with the keys and he smiles slightly before apologising. It will be too late before he finds out what for and Gwaine wakes the next day groggy and confused, Merlin still in the dungeons.

It is Gaius that helps to most, both of them knowing that this could one day happen.

And they've already planned for it.

Perhaps Camelot is losing its best defender.

Perhaps it isn't.


	142. Friend

Lancelot wonders sometimes how Merlin can put up with what he does and not become bitter. As manservant to the Prince he is under pressure from multiple directions, none the least Arthur, who on difficult days is prone to take out his frustration on the people around him - and the people who can't fight back.

This is before Lancelot even touches on the secret warlock thing, and if _he_ winces at everything that he hears about magic, what must Merlin be feeling like?

It's just proof that Merlin is strong, he supposes.

And Lancelot is so glad to have him as a friend.


	143. Martyr

She refuses to deny what she did. She had done it in the defence of her people, those who had suffered and been persecuted and hunted. Those that had died at the swords of Camelot's Knights and left to rot, without even an unmarked grave to signify their passing.

She regretted what her death would do to Mordred, as she knew it would, but not what had caused her death. Kara was not about to apologise to the King of Camelot for anything, and especially not defending her kin.

She would die proud, a martyr. Camelot would_ not _win this battle.


	144. Traitor

When Merlin comes to him telling him that Gwen has turned traitor, his blood turns to ice. Then to fire, and he threatens Merlin with the dungeons and execution, all for accusing his Queen of treason.

But his explanation that she's been enchanted by Morgana fits awfully well with the facts, and he's not one to deny something that's right in front of him (or so _he_ thinks).

So he asks Merlin for proof in a voice that is far too calm and Merlin looks at him like he's a wounded bull.

Merlin is right.

He tries not to let his heart break again.


	145. Expectations

Merlin has perfected the masks that hide who he is. Not even Gwaine, or Arthur or Gwen, can see beyond the mask. He plays on what people expect to see and what they _want_ to see.

They don't expect to see a servant that's brave or smart and so they say things that they wouldn't around other people.

They expect to see him cheerful and happy and they don't see the sadness and secrets in his eyes.

It's a tried and tested method, one he's used since he was a child - to never let anyone's assumptions be proven wrong because then they pay attention.

And that's bad for someone like Merlin.


	146. Time Girl

Merlin just about thinks he's gotten a handle on weird - after all, how many warlock manservants serving the Crown Prince do you know? He's done a lot of things in his life, and started to think he's become immune to all kinds of shocking situations.

Until some girl wearing something she calls 'jeans' appear in the Throne Room and after they introduce themselves she scowls at Uther, flutters her eyelashes at Arthur and shrieks and hugs Merlin before fainting.

Uther shouts a lot, but the girl isn't taken to the dungeons.

After all, if she's really from the future she'll know how to get rid of magic.

Merlin isn't too sure if he believes even magic can stretch that far.


	147. Magical Attack

Arthur supposes he really should be used to this.

He's used to the magical attacks, to the bandits, to the magical creatures, to the sorcerers that dedicate their lives to trying to kill him. Actually it's kind of strange that he's managed to make it to this age.

He's used to magical attacks.

He's _very_ used to it.

But he's not used to one actually almost succeeding in the attempted murder of the Crown Prince, never mind his manservant stopping it.

With all that he's become used to magical attacks, he's never had a magical defence.

He might like the change.


	148. Screw The Prophecy

She is the darkness to his light.

Well, that is possible.

And the hatred to his love - and that's the bit that's impossible.

Because he knows Morgana, and she's one of the most caring women he's ever met, beautiful inside and out, willing to defy Uther to save an innocent child from death and sneak bread from the kitchens when the people starve.

She isn't evil.

So screw what the dragon says about destiny. He's wrong.

He won't leave Morgana to be alone, simply because he knows she'd never do it to him.

And he refuses to do it to her.


	149. Royal Jerk

Just when Merlin thinks he'll start to like Camelot (excepting the way that they chop the heads off all magical people), he meets some guy whose head is far too big for his boots (and his belt), but who he can't stop (because of aforementioned head chopping).

Merlin really doesn't like jerks - he's used to them back in Ealdor. He isn't going to let himself be pushed around anymore (he laughs at the irony later).

And of course the pre-mentioned jerk is actually the Prince of Camelot.

Well, he really shouldn't be surprised.

If _he_ were royal, he'd probably be a jerk as well.


	150. Hate This

Arthur hates this. He hates being weak.

He isn't usually - usually he's the complete opposite, the strongest man in the room - but he can't fight against magic.

You need to fight magic with magic, which is why Merlin's out there fighting Morgana and he and the rest of the Knights (and Gwen) are trapped in the throne room, listening anxiously to every noise made outside, every bang, every crash, every scream.

He hates not knowing, and he hates being weak.

But most of all he hates that he can't help his friend that needs him, after Merlin's been helping him for so long.


	151. Inheritance

Merlin didn't know what to expect when he killed Nimueh. Vengeance, satisfaction, Gaius back? He got all of them.

A mastery over lightning, the power of life and death, an awful lot of clothes drying to do. He got all three of them as well.

He hadn't expected to become the new High Priest. So when a druid popped by (quite literally) to tell him, needless to say he was surprised.

At least he hadn't popped by in the middle of the throne room. Because that would've just been his luck.

He wasn't sure what he was going to do now. Except try not to kill powerful people, lest he inherit their titles.


	152. Arranged Marriage

Morgana has known ever since she arrived in Camelot to stay as Uther's ward that she would one day marry Arthur - unless Uther managed to secure a more politically beneficial match for her.

She minded, of course, because Arthur was more like a younger brother than a future husband. The two of them pretended to push each other off the barricades and he tugged on her braids so she tripped him over with one of her sashes. They sparred, as often as Uther would allow her to join in, and they won and lost.

So no, it wouldn't be utterly terrible to marry Arthur. She just wished she had a choice.


	153. Success

It was hard to consider his life a success.

Because no matter what he'd done in his life, no matter the people he'd saved and the castles he'd held and the witches he'd battled, his destiny was to protect Arthur.

His life's work was dedicated to protecting his King, his friend, the other half of his soul.

And Arthur was dead.

Arthur had died in his arms, as had been fated for decades, after being stabbed by the Knight who had betrayed them. As Merlin had already known would happen, but even then was powerless to stop it.

Arthur was dead.

And Merlin had failed.


	154. Guilt

Sometimes he wonders how it came to this. How it came to Morgana, sitting in her lair, enchanting Gwen to turn against Arthur and attempt to assassinate him.

Then he remembers.

It was his fault.

He did this, to Morgana, so ultimately everything wrong she's done, all the harm she's caused, falls on him. It is his blame.

But it is Morgana's as well, for deciding that was the path to take, and Arthur's for not seeing it and helping her.

(It's not Gwen's because she tries to help everybody.)

They share the blame for this.

But ultimately it's his fault.


	155. Good Planning

Camelot doesn't react how Joseph expected it to.

Firstly, the gates are just about as good as open, inviting anyone who wants to challenge them straight into their hallowed halls to do so.

Secondly, when he actually gets into the throne room, the Knights don't act at all like the feared men they have become. They look more like squabbling children.

And then the lanky manservant ducks behind a pillar and Joseph see's his eyes flash gold.

Aah, he thinks, as he hits the wall behind him (he must've tripped, everyone else thinks).

Next time I'll have to do more planning. This is where everyone else failed as well!

After all, who expects the King's manservant to use magic?


	156. Time Travelling

**Okay, I don't even know where this came from... But I hope you like it anyway - please review!**

Mordred knows the dangers of messing with time. But right now he doesn't care, not since his mother and father were killed side by side protecting him.

The King Arthur Pendragon who betrayed his best friend and sister by attempting to burn their son at the stake and killing them in the process.

Mordred knows what his darling Uncle Arthur is capable of, no matter what it seems like, and he will not make the mistake of trusting him again.

That got his parents killed.

This time it is Arthur Pendragon who will die in their stead, even if he loses everyone else.


	157. Starting A Family

Of all the days that Arthur could've found out that he'd killed the love of Merlin's life, it had to be this one. It's long after the magic reveal, after the revelation that he's a Dragon Lord.

Because, by coincidence, Arthur and Gwen's daughter is born on the day Freya died.

It only takes one thoughtless comment from Arthur for Merlin to snap, because today he's so close to breaking and unlike other years he can't avoid his King.

Arthur makes a statement about Merlin starting a family of his own.

And Merlin tells him that his chance for that was killed a long time ago.


	158. In The Shadows

Now that he knows what Merlin's been hiding, some of his behaviours are a little easier to explain. Like the way he can talk for hours without actually _saying_ anything, and the way that he always goes to step in front of his King in any kind of dangerous situation.

It explains rather a lot.

It explains Merlin's odd love for the shadows, to keep himself hidden in the darkness of pretending.

Well, not for much longer. Arthur is going to drag him out of the darkness into the light if it's the last thing he does.

Merlin deserves that.


	159. Best Friends Forever

Sometimes the Knights act very stupidly.

Such as the time that Gwaine dragged them all off to the tavern, leaving Merlin as the only one not thoroughly intoxicated, and starting an argument with Arthur and Lancelot over who was Merlin's best friend on the way back.

He'd known Arthur the longest, and they were two sides of the same coin.

Lancelot knew him best, even if he couldn't tell everyone that.

Merlin had always had fun with Gwaine, and Gwaine had always been there for him.

And then they asked him to pick.

Merlin had to pick Gwen, simply because she hadn't been involved in this silly argument (and because she was the best friend he'd ever had, barring her initial awkward crush on him).


	160. Unexpected

When Merlin had killed Nimueh he didn't know what he had been expecting - a sense of satisfaction perhaps, for killing the woman who had killed Gaius. Maybe a sense of horror at what he had become since coming to Camelot.

He hadn't expected to awaken the Power of Life and Death.

He hadn't expected to bring Gaius back to life.

And he definitely hadn't expected to become the new High Priest.

Which is why he didn't believe it when a congregation of druids decided to announce it in the middle of the crowded Throne Room.

If he weren't about to be arrested for sorcery, he'd actually find it funny.


	161. Fangirl

Merlin is well known in the druid prophecies. That comes with the unfortunate side effect of having every druid in a four country radius knowing who he is and what he's capable of on sight.

This time there's a young druid girl, still in her teens, that's been arrested. Arthur isn't Uther, so this is a trial rather than an immediate execution.

Merlin is hard-pressed to say which one he prefers when she takes one look at him and squeaks out Emrys before collapsing to the floor,

When she wakes up she squeals and starts hugging him, and _that's_ when Merlin's really in trouble.


	162. Nightmare

Sometimes he wakes up in the darkness and doesn't know where he is. Instinctively, his magic rises from within him and throws everything backwards, in an automatic defence mode, until he can get it back under control.

Only this time it's not when he's in his chambers with only Gaius for company. This time he doesn't hear the crash of his things hitting against a wall, only a yelp of pain and the sound of flesh hitting something hard.

This time he's thrown Arthur back into a tree, along with Lancelot, Gwaine and Percival, and judging by the look in their eyes, they've all seen his flash gold.


	163. Gold

**This is a continuation of the last chapter, after several people requested it x please read and review xx**

Merlin is sleeping on the job again, when he should already be up and feeding the horses and tending to the fire.

So Arthur feels totally justified in throwing the bucket of water over him to wake him up.

He just doesn't expect to land in a tree for it. The hit to his head dazes him for a minute before realisation dawns and his stomach drops.

Gold. He'd seen gold.

He'd seen gold in Merlin's eyes.

Merlin. Merlin the sorcerer, the traitor, the betrayer.

Merlin who had just used magic, to throw him into a tree, to _hurt_ him.

Merlin.


	164. Issues

**This is another continuation, but this is the last one x Please read and review x**

So, after everything is said and done Merlin isn't a traitor, but he _is_ a sorcerer and a Dragon Lord and Emrys to boot.

Arthur isn't quite sure which is worse.

Lancelot already knew, they tell him, and that explains their closeness and convenient disappearances in trying times.

Gwaine suspected, because no one without magic could've survived with them this long.

Percival had been as clueless as Arthur (like much of Camelot).

Arthur isn't quite sure what to feel about _that_ either.

But he supposes it doesn't matter. Merlin is still Merlin and Merlin hasn't betrayed him.

He's just got magic, which is really the same thing.

Needless to say, they have to sort out their issues.


	165. Strange And Crazy

When Merlin goes to sleep there are certain expectations that he hopes will be met. Firstly that he _will_ wake up, which is not always certain considering the fact that he's Emrys and a sorcerer hiding in the heart of Camelot.

He also expects to be roughly in the same place as where he fell asleep (sadly not true often enough with the amount of times they are kidnapped).

But he would like to wake up in the same _time_, not four years in the future as he has done.

There are magical outbursts and then there is just craziness.

It's strange how the two seem to coincide when it comes to him.


	166. The End

Merlin knows that at last he is dying. He should feel _something_ about his utter relief, some kind of thoughts, but truth be told he's wanted to die for centuries now.

Why would anyone to outlive their friends and family by centuries?

Who would want immortality?

So he doesn't care that he's dying - it's everything he's wanted for so long.

He imagines he can see them, as he starts hallucinating nearer to the end. There seems to be a sort of light over everything and then Arthur is standing in front of him, Gaius, Gwen, Gwaine, his mother.

With a smile Merlin reaches forwards to take their hands.


	167. Birdie Song

**This is another one that came from nowhere...**

Gwaine should know better than to burst into Merlin's workshop like that, but because he's Gwaine he doesn't care.

He cares rather a lot more when he sprouts feathers and can't only talk in chirps.

Merlin can't help but roll around the floor laughing at the wayward knight covered from head to toe in feathers (including in his precious hair) and speaking in little chirps.

And then he starts dancing to some very annoying music (which is coming from somewhere Merlin has no clue about).

Something tells Merlin that this is the birdie song.

Whatever it is, the name is remarkably apt.


	168. Failed

He knows even before Merlin says anything that Arthur is gone. Agony pierces his heart - Percival returned only hours ago to tell him that Gwaine had joined Lancelot and Elyan, and now Arthur has as well.

And, as close as he'd been to the others, as much as he missed them, this was the worst one.

Despite having grown up with Elyan, it is Arthur's death that cuts the deepest. He's known his whole life that he was supposed to grow up to protect Arthur, to defend his King.

Only now he's failed, Arthur dying without his Queen or his Knights at his side and Leon trapped here in the castle perfectly fine.


	169. Amazing

Merlin knows that jump from serving girl to Queen is massive and even Gwen has to break sometime. He also knows that she won't shot it to Arthur, because she'll fret about worrying him and not being good enough, but he hopes she won't try to hide it from him.

She does, because she's that sort of person, but he's that sort of friend so it doesn't really work.

No matter what she thinks of herself, Arthur thinks she is an amazing Queen, the people think she is an amazing Queen and even the _Councillors_ think she's doing a decent job (and they all know how hard _they_ are to please).

So Gwen really has nothing to worry about.

Not while Merlin is there.


	170. In Another Life

Sometimes he imagines what would've happened if he'd become bitter, if he'd given in to the darkness. He sees himself telling Morgana about her magic, not caring of the implications of destiny.

He sees Gwen, a serving girl to her new Queen and Arthur, either in the dungeons to repent or banished forever. Uther long since dead and Gaius, well meaning in his tower as physician. Hunith at court, finally living the life she deserved and the life that she would've had, had Balinor not been hunted down like a dog.

He sees Camelot at his feet, smoking and in ruins, with their dark haired King and Queen.

**This is something else that came out of nowhere x In case you haven't got it, the King and Queen are Merlin and Morgana xx**


	171. Forgive

He knows that maybe it was too much to hope that once his magic had been revealed that everything would be forgiven and forgotten.

Because no matter how much the others had understood the need for his silence, for his lies, for the death's on his hands, they couldn't forgive him for them. Nor could they forget.

No matter how glad Merlin is that magic is free, he wishes it hadn't cost him everyone one of his friends, all of the people he hoped would understand when the truth was revealed.

Because they did understand.

They just couldn't forgive him for it.


	172. Working It Out

Merlin doesn't know how his and Arthur's relationship ended up like this.

Once upon a time they'd hated each other, divided by class and social standing.

Now Arthur pushes him into water almost affectionately and he makes Arthur's trousers fall down at inopportune moments just for the fun of it (not that Arthur knows that, of course).

Their relationship has changed from one of master and servant to friends, or as close as Arthur can manage. He hasn't really had friends before.

And no matter how strange other people it, how amusing the Knights find it, it works for them.


	173. War

**This is a bit of an AU where Merlin kept his youth through the centuries x This came to me sometime during my three hours of history today xx**

Merlin knows that pain is a part of life - having lived as long as he has, he knows that better than most.

But this century is the most violent he's seen in a long while. He's lived through World War One and World War Two and the suspicion and fear of the Cold War.

He's lived through Korea and Afghanistan.

Now it's Vietnam.

No matter how old Merlin gets, he never gets used to death - not now that everyone is armed with weapons that could destroy the planet in minutes (and maybe even him).

He usually makes it his business not to get involved, but this time he can't help himself.


	174. Dreams

Arthur is very set in his world views.

In that world magic is banned and actually stays that way (or maybe that's his father's world) and he is allowed to marry Gwen.

Morgana is good again, and not actually his sister (because that's when all their problems started) and everyone in Camelot is happy and fed and protected.

All of his Knights live good lives and die of old age and famine never strikes Camelot again.

And Merlin is just his witty servant, and also a friend, but mainly a _servant_.

And according to the people currently calling Merlin their King his dreams have just been crushed.


	175. Imagine It Anyway

From time to time, when she is alone in the darkness of the night, she imagines what it would be like if she were to go back to Camelot, to ask for forgiveness, to stop with this agenda against the only family she has left.

She knows it is silly, that Arthur will look at her in disgust and Gwen will look at her with pity and Merlin will be regretful and hopeful, though she doesn't even know why. It just seems right.

And she knows that it would never work, that she would be executed or banished.

But she imagines it anyway.


	176. First Day

Merlin's first day as Court Sorcerer doesn't go as he expected.

He expected having to appease lots of councillors, to have to struggle to find acceptance with the people of Camelot.

Instead they all seem stunned into silence that Merlin, the King's ever faithful manservant, has magic. Even when he starts giving them advice on how to use magical barriers to decrease the damage from yet another impending attempted invasion, none of them say a word.

So Merlin's first day doesn't go how he imagined it.

It's much quieter.

And to be honest, it's creeping him out. At least he knew where he stood when they wanted to burn him at the stake.


	177. Hyper

Merlin is nearly always bounding around like he's on sugar, so when there is something new (called coffee) imported into Camelot, Arthur soundly resolves to keep Merlin as far away from it as possible.

It doesn't work.

Coffee somehow finds itself into Merlin's presence, and Gwaine's ale, and the pair spend the next three hours bouncing around the castle and antagonizing the cook.

Why are these people in his service again?

It's only because they're so good at saving his life, and Merlin is so good at mucking out horses.

(After Arthur finds out Merlin is a sorcerer, the next time caffeine comes out to play Merlin really does bounce around the castle, about three feet off the ground.)


	178. Twenty-Twenty

Now that he's older he sees so many places that he could've saved his friends, the fact that he had power enough to close the veil without Lancelot's sacrifice and the ability to stop Will getting hit by an arrow and the ability to end Freya's life without pain.

So many chances to get Morgana to change her path, so many times that he could've revealed the truth to Arthur, so that he only discovered the truth at his death.

Only it doesn't matter now, because it's too late.

As they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty, and there's no one that knows that better than him.


	179. Show Tunes

**As much as I like Disney's the Sword in the Stone...**

Merlin was no stranger to odd dreams. What with what he'd seen, they were common.

But this was the strangest in a long time.

There was a man that looked at bit like him, with a beard and an insane grin, a sword, a stone, and annoying blond child and a pink elephant. Various animals were singing and mops were twirling around infuriatingly.

And then he woke up, his mind still filled with dancing elephants and singing mice.

He cringed.

Thanks goodness nothing like that had ever happened in real life.

Though apparently in the future, with numerous show tunes.

He shuddered again.


	180. Rivalry

There were not many people that knew of the secret rivalry between Merlin and George, over the employment of Prince Arthur's manservant.

At first there had been sly comments and perfectly punctual smiles and several discreet attempts at sabotage.

And then Merlin had almost died saving the Prince's life, drinking from the poisoned chalice in his place. George had to respect his fellow servant for that, however new to the service he was.

And no matter how much George wanted to serve the Crown, he'd like to be alive at the end of it.

Perhaps Merlin was better off as the Prince's servant.


	181. Second Dance

When Gwen finds Merlin standing alone against a pillar, hidden in the shadows, at her and Arthur's wedding, she knows something is wrong. After all Merlin is their best friend (not that Arthur will ever admit to that), so why isn't he off enjoying himself with the rest of their friends, currently rather intoxicated over by the makeshift dance floor.

Merlin smiles at her, but it doesn't reach his eyes and she knows it.

But Merlin looks far too sad for her to ask right now. All she'll do is grab his hand and drag him out onto the dance floor with her - because what kind of wedding would it be if she didn't get to dance with her best friend?

And if it cheers him up, well that's just a coincidence.


	182. Fault

It's not his fault.

It's not his fault (but it is).

Morgana could have chosen another path (but the path she chose is his fault).

Gwaine could have chosen not to go after Morgana (but she was only there to go after because Merlin hadn't already killed her).

Lancelot had chosen to sacrifice himself, for all of them, and maybe a little bit for himself as well (but if Merlin hadn't told him what he was going to do...)

Arthur had chosen to go into battle, trusting his Queen in his stead (nut Merlin couldn't save him).

And now it doesn't matter (because it isn't his fault).


	183. Rules

Sir John was new to Camelot. He hadn't been there since the reign of King Uther, which was undeniably different to Arthur's reign, but it probably wouldn't matter anyway.

And it wouldn't have. Most people got by fine without even brushing by the new rules.

If he hadn't managed to break every single one of them and end up in the dungeons for a week and a half.

Such as attempting to grope Morgana's pretty former servant and insulting and assaulting the King's clumsy idiot of a manservant.

After that, Sir John was kind of done for (from Arthur, Gwaine _and_ Elyan).


	184. Come Bearing Gifts

Arthur doesn't really do presents - except for diplomatic ones, and then it's not exactly he that picks them out, he just presents them in a ceremony that manages to last for two hours.

So when Gwen informs him that she's throwing Merlin a birthday party and he's expected to both be there and come bearing gifts he doesn't know what he's supposed to do.

Sure, being there isn't a problem - not that he'll admit it to anyone, but Merlin is his best friend.

But he doesn't know what he's supposed to buy him.

And then it's obvious. And new neckerchief!


	185. Gifts

**This is for Karano x I hope you like it xx**

In another world, one that doesn't happen, Magic rules.

There is no purge, no King Uther.

Instead there is King Emrys, known as Merlin to his people, you rules the land in his stead, a young but wise King that knows his duties well, and also knows how to be a friend to a people.

All of these qualities make him a good King, Arthur knows, but somehow it is more than that. Merlin has a way of drawing people in, a talent that it not his gift for sorcery. And whilst Arthur doesn't know what it is, it seems to work.


	186. Stable Duty

**This is for Second Daughter of Eve, who requested a continuation of the last one - this is kind of that - where Arthur is Merlin's servant x**

In another world Arthur is Merlin's servant, and it's the funniest thing that most of them have ever seen. Arthur throws things at the Prince to get him up and Merlin gets Arthur to do target practice (because what use is having someone who can't defend themselves?) on him, Merlin deflecting the knives with a flash of his eyes at every turn.

Merlin writes his own speeches and all the floors are polished magically, but the horses are easily spooked by magic so it's just mucking out the stables that Arthur has to do.

(But Merlin's not as horrible about it as Arthur is - honestly.)


	187. Go Fish

Sometimes it's boring that he's dead, particularly since he's in the Lake of Avalon - at least on the other side of the Veil there were more people. Here there's only the fish, the Sidhe and Freya (as she insists he calls her).

Freya is a story that she's not quite willing to tell yet, and Lancelot doesn't push. He has a feeling both their stories end with Merlin if she ended up here.

But still, not that he's not grateful, but there is nothing to do.

And it's considered cruelty to animals if they play Go Fish too many times.


	188. White Noise

**This is for my Guest reviewer, I hope you like it xx**

It was a normal day, Merlin doing what he did best (saving Camelot), when he looked around confused.

'What was that?'

He then realised he'd asked that aloud. Arthur stirred from the floor at his feet where he'd been conveniently knocked out, a large lump of wood lying next to his head.

"What was what?"

"That music."

"What music?"

"That music!" Merlin frowned.

Arthur eyed him worriedly before sinking back into unconsciousness. Merlin looked him over for a minute before shrugging. Arthur was much more agreeable this way.

And Merlin wouldn't have to _actually_ carry him back to Camelot.

Really, where was that noise coming from?


	189. Pretending

**This is for my Guest reviewer x I hope you like it x**

Another scream pierces the air, and Uther cringes at the sounds coming from the chamber just in front of him. Another shout echoes and he winces but this time it is followed by the wailing cries of a baby and a smile he can't help spreads across his face.

The door opens and the nurse steps out, smiling slightly. She moves out of the way to let him in and he makes his way to the bed, grinning at Ygraine and trying to pretend he wasn't. He perches at the end of the bed and she passes him his son.

"I've thought of a name," She says. "Arthur."

He likes it.

She smiles and takes his hand.

In this world Ygraine doesn't die.


	190. Sword Fighting

**This is for Guest reviewer I'll never tell, I hope you like it x Please read and review xx**

As hard as it to believe Merlin does actually have talents for things other than magic. He's spent the last few years watching Arthur twirl his sword around and he'd like to think that he's picked up a few tricks along the way.

So when Arthur (drunkenly) baits him into a sword fight in front of everyone, he actually wins.

And he doesn't even use his magic.

Gwaine spits out his ale, Lancelot looks like a fish and Arthur actually faints (though that might just be the alcohol).

In fact, that's what Arthur blames for his loss when he wakes up.

That excuse only lasts as long as it takes for Merlin to beat him when they're both sober.


	191. Waking Up

Sometimes he wonders if it's worth it. He doesn't mean it, not really - he's so proud of Arthur, more proud of him than he can say, but he can't quite but imagine life if he'd had Ygraine instead of his son.

He would've been happy, even if he wasn't happier.

But his Kingdom would've been far more unstable, with the lack of heir and conflicting ideas over who should inherit Camelot's throne.

And the magic users wouldn't have been hunted down.

Sometimes he dreams that life had gone differently. But he always wakes up in the end, and he doesn't mind.

Not really.


	192. Torture

Morgana wants to know who Emrys is, as she does most of the time.

She is, as always, willing to turn to torture to get the information she wants, willing to do anything to anyone (but since it happens to be the people she hates she minds even less).

She takes her knife and drags it over his skin, over and over until he screams. Blood pools out onto the floor, seeping across the cold cobblestones and staining them red.

But no matter what Morgana does, Merlin says nothing.

She has never been able to make his do something he doesn't want to when she is trying.


	193. Repetitive

To be honest, Merlin is fed up with Uther's magic-hating speeches. Sure, they come from the heart (or what counts as Uther's heart), but they never get any more interesting.

Any originality is long gone.

Every time he goes on about the evilness of magic, and how all sorcerers should be hunted like animals and executed, even children (well, it's not quite what he says, but it's close enough).

Merlin is bored of it by now. Uther never uses anything to engage his audience - although it's normally interrupted by a sorcerer or two of its own.

This time there is no help in sight so Merlin turns his face to a pillar and his eyes glow gold, away from viewing.

When Uther opens his mouth and no sounds come out they all know he is mouthing sorcery.


	194. Without Her

Sometimes Merlin thinks that life without Freya makes it hard to breathe. It might sound silly, the pair of them only having known each other for a few days, but it was so freeing to have someone else who understood the weight on him, another person who understood what it was like to be forced into a future you had never planned, one that took everything away from you.

She was forced to become a beast every night. He was forced to deny everything he was and watch everyone die around him, powerless to help.

And now, without her, he was alone.


	195. Bandits

Sometimes Arthur wonders where all the bandits come from. They seem to travel in packs, and only ever attack when he is on patrol.

And they never seem to keep their balance - they're always falling out of trees or dropping their swords. Why haven't they learnt yet?

He also wonders about the conspicuous lack of female bandits, with the exception of Isolde. And then he decides that no, that's not really something he wants to think about.

He just wants to stop them from attacking him every time he leaves the castle.

Do they have nothing better to do with their lives?


	196. Kin

Kilgharrah is dying.

It takes a minute for the thought to sink in, before pain shoots across his chest. Kilgharrah understands his burden better than anyone, understands _him_ better than anyone, even Gaius. No matter what they say in anger and the promises they make (_you will never be released_), they are still closer than anyone else would expect.

They are kin.

They are family.

Merlin would never expect Kilgharrah to bow down to him, even though he could make him.

And Kilgharrah would never expect Merlin to make him, even though he could.

And soon it won't matter because he'll be gone.


	197. Worth It

Hunith knows that everything that her son has suffered in his life has led to this. Right now, all of the suffering that he has been through means nothing to him and though it will catch up with him later, she is just glad to see him smile like that.

She thinks that it was worth it.

Because this is what it has all been leading to, the freedom of magic in Camelot and Merlin standing up there at the King's side, pledging his loyalty as Court Sorcerer.

She grins herself, because all her son's dreams are finally coming true.


	198. Captured

Merlin couldn't help but claw at his wrists. The manacles were there, and he could almost feel them tightening into his skin. The skin around them was bloody and mangled, from his previous attempts to prise them from his wrists.

His hair was long, and matted with blood, he nails filthy with grime.

Of all the captors to finally _succeed_ in taking him, it was the one with magical restraints.

And he didn't seem to even know it.

Oh, he was _so_ going to kill Arthur for this when he got back.

If the King hadn't gotten himself killed already, without Merlin there.


	199. I'm Dead

When he opens his eyes again he screams. He does _not_ shriek, because that is unmanly, and King Arthur Pendragon is nothing but manly, but what else do you do when you wake up and find someone inches from your nose.

"Aah!" He (not) shrieks.

"Aah!" Gwaine mocks.

"Can we not do this now?" Arthur looks up to find Elyan, Lancelot and a pretty woman in a purple dress that he faintly recognises.

Arthur slumps his head back, ignoring the pounding in his head. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"How did you figure that out?"

"Because two of you are dead and Gwaine's not drunk."


	200. Guardian Angel

No matter how much he loves his son, sometimes, in private, he'd pray that Arthur wasn't so brave, so courageous. It had almost gotten him killed so many times but he escaped even the direst of situations, almost as though he had a guardian angel looking out for him.

He liked to think it was Ygraine.

The thought of his wife looking out for their son and him calmed him in ways that nothing else could, the idea that they would meet again, no matter how long the separation.

He never once thought it could be the thing he condemned as evil.


	201. Rules And Traditions

Arthur knows that his father would hate this, and probably die of shock.

He knows that his Councillors _will_ hate him for this, and to be honest he's not surprised.

No one's ever tried this before.

But he doesn't care, because he loves Guinevere too much to let his marriage be dictated by century old laws, most of which he's already defied.

And he's King, so he can do what he likes. The role of the Council is to advise, but they can't really do anything. By the time Gwen is Queen they'll be so impressed with her they won't care.

He hopes.


	202. Occupational Hazard

Over the years Merlin has been many things.

He has been a Lord (and wasn't that strange to get used to, after all those years as a servant, even with Gwen's help). He has been a soldier, a healer, a witch, a wise man, a farmer, and many other things beside.

In this life he's a postman.

It's a job that he's never done before and doesn't think he'll do again. He doesn't have a problem with the job, not really, but he's getting a bit too old now for all this walking and it doesn't do him much good.

No, next time he wants to be a teacher.


	203. Because Merlin Is Actually A Girl

**Not sure where this came from, I was just in a sarcastic mood and I saw a fem-Merlin fic, so this is the product of that xx I mean absolutely no offence! xx**

Merlin is (not-so) secretly a girl.

She is also in a not so-secret secret relationship with Arthur _and_ Gwaine and Morgana hates her for it.

Whenever she uses magic everyone conveniently falls unconscious, and everyone pretends they don't see Gwaine wink at her as he collapses dramatically to the floor. Unfortunately he hits his head and actually becomes unconscious.

Merlin tries not to laugh.

She also manages to save the day remarkably well whilst in a dress, a feat which almost no one else seems to manage. Almost everyone else in a dress is trying to ruin the day (see Morgana, Morgause, Nimueh etc.)

She is secretly Wonder Woman, just for that.


	204. Wrong

Morgause loathes Uther because he is the source of everything that's gone wrong in her life. He got her mother pregnant and, as much as she loves Morgana, that had destroyed her reputation in Court, even if no one suspected out loud that her husband with not the father.

Then he banned magic, resulting in her being smuggled away in the dead of the night, to be raised by the High Priestesses and taken away from her family.

He had raised Morgana and taught her to be afraid of what she was, to be terrified to be herself.

Uther would die.


	205. Drunk Revelations

Merlin is drunk the first time he tells Gwaine about his magic. They both are - Merlin far more so than Gwaine, due to the sheer amount of alcohol that Gwaine has been overwhelming him with, just to see what happens - he's never seen Merlin drunk before, though there's a good reason for it.

Neither of them remember much of that evening,

` Both of them are sober when he tells him for the second time. It is a moment that is quiet and still and utterly unlike both of them until Gwaine grins and asks why it took so long for Merlin to tell him.

Merlin doesn't know either.


	206. Merlin's Fault

Arthur know that sometimes Merlin does stupid things. He's seen his servant pull many idiotic stunts.

But this one _really_ takes the cake.

Merlin is running _towards_ the bandits, waving his arms in the air and about three steps away from becoming a human piñata.

Arthur scowls. This is not how he wanted his hunt to go.

But it's Merlin, so he runs after him and the Knights follow his lead. The bandits are quickly dispatched and otherwise occupied (three of them knocked out after inconveniently falling out of trees).

Why does his day go like this?

It's always Merlin's fault.


	207. Dear Diary

One day Merlin just can't take it anymore. He can't keep all his feelings, all his fears and all his dreams inside him because he feels like he's going to explode.

He's alone now, since Lancelot died, except for Gaius and there's no way that Merlin would burden his mentor with this.

He doesn't even know what he's writing, just that his hand aches and the words scrawled across the page probably won't make sense to anyone but him.

Once it's finished he feels like he can breathe.

And he takes the paper and puts it in the loose floorboard under his bed.


	208. Poisoned

To be honest he'd only just started to get a feel for Merlin. The other man (barely more than a boy) hadn't been his manservant for long, but Arthur already knew that he was impertinent, quick-witted and loyal.

Nothing emphasized this more than watching him drink from the goblet he'd just declared poisoned. He had a brief moment of fear, imagining him at the mercy of his father, that quickly turned to terror as he collapsed to the floor.

He looked so _young_.

Arthur knew that he'd done nothing to deserve this kind of loyalty, which just made it hurt more.


	209. Little Brother

Merlin is just like the Knights little brother. He's the cheeky one that can get away with anything (even having magic) and they can never stay mad at for long (even when said magic is spectacularly revealed).

They all adore him because, never mind the fact that he's seen more than any of them, he seems the most innocent, with his wide blue eyes (even if they see everything) and his ears. He bounds along behind them, like a puppy, and the Knights laugh at the comparison, even as Merlin scowls playfully.

They're family.

And Merlin is the glue that holds them all together.


	210. Left Behind

**This is one of three requests for harrypotterfanforever247 x I hope you like it xx**

There's something inside him that feels dark and hollow, something that's lost.

It's Merlin.

Because Merlin is gone and nowhere to be found and Arthur doesn't even know where to start looking for him or what state he's going to be in _when_ he's found (because Arthur can't handle the word _if_).

And it's his fault.

He left Merlin behind, trapped on the other side of that rock fall, even as he know that Merlin would never even dream of doing the same thing to him. The thought makes him feel sick, having betrayed his closest _friend_ like that.

Merlin would never leave him like that.

Arthur shouldn't have either.


	211. Lost (And Not Found)

**Here's another one of the requests from harrypotterfanforever247 x Please read and review x**

He already knows what Agravaine is going to say before he says it. He thinks he shakes his head in denial, because it can't be true.

Agravaine says it anyway.

Merlin is nowhere to be found.

Well, that's not unusual - Arthur can never find Merlin when he needs him, he's always off somewhere, probably in the tavern (as per usual).

Only this is different. Merlin isn't going to come popping up around the next corner, trying to shirk his duties (actually he might, because surprising him is what Merlin lives to do).

Merlin is gone.

And this time he might not be coming back.


	212. Foresight

It's not surprising that seeing the future contributed to driving Morgana mad. The brief opportunities for him to see the things ahead have torn him apart, unsure of the paths ahead - if he causes them by acting, or causes them by not acting.

The conundrum drives him insane, like the puzzle of the chicken and the egg, because once a path is started then the same decision comes up again and again - act, or don't act?

He chooses not to see instead, loathing to do it even by accident.

He doesn't know how Morgana lasted as long as she did.


	213. Comes To This

Fear chokes him and he can hardly breathe through the lump in his throat. He doesn't mean to but he trembles anyway, shaking in utter terror at what will happen next.

Arthur looks at him, a mixture of betrayal and confusion on his face, something unreadable flashing in his eyes as he watches Merlin shake and flinch away.

How had they come to this?

Merlin has magic.

Merlin had lied to him.

And perhaps it was his fault, for not giving Merlin a chance to tell him the truth, for hating magic and telling Merlin that.

Perhaps it's Merlin's, for not trusting him anyway.


	214. Sisterly Bonding

Morgause smiled, _smiled_, not smirked, at her sister.

Morgana smiled back.

Morgause frowned. "No! When people smile at you, you don't smile back. You have already created an ingenious plan to thwart whatever they want to do, so you look aloof and then turn away to smirk deviously."

Morgana did so.

"No! I can see your smirk from here! Even Uther isn't blind enough to miss that!"

Morgana frowned for an instant.

"No!"

She turned away again and smirked.

Morgause tilted her head to the side. "Better. But still not good enough. Again!"

Morgana crossed her arms and scowled.

"No!"


	215. Fix It

There is a snuffle, a whimper of pain, that is barely audible over the whistling of the wind in the trees. Merlin feels a tear slip down his cheek, his heart breaking further.

It didn't matter what Aithusa had done in her short life - she'd never known anything better, anyone other than Morgana. And really that's Merlin's fault, for assuming that Kilgharrah would be looking after her.

This is his fault.

Aithusa is twisted, deformed and unable to speak. She is in constant pain, having lived a life of terror and pain.

And that's his fault.

So he has to fix it.


	216. Awake

The ground beneath him is soft, softer than the seabed that's been his bed for the past thousand years. He takes his first deep breath in just as long, relishing the feeling of the cold air in his lungs, rather than the water.

He puts his hand on his chest and he can actually feel his heart beat under his fingers, for the first time in what is like forever.

He knows that he has been awakened for a reason - that there is something he must now do, for whatever Albion has become.

He can get to that later.

Right now he needs to find Merlin. Everything else can wait until later.


	217. Shape Shifting

Merlin loves shape shifting.

Really.

He does.

Gwen takes it as an opportunity to pet him, like he's really an animal, without any idea of rational thought. But he supposes that Gwen can't help it if her one weakness is cats.

Gwaine likes to pull his tail, just to see him yowl, but his laughter never lasts long. Merlin always gets him back for it.

Arthur teases him for curling up next to the fire and snuggling up to Gwen but Merlin winds himself around Arthur's legs as he walks and the monarch finds himself tripping.

He _really_ loves shape shifting.


	218. Chores

Merlin doesn't honestly mind his chores, most of the time. They make him feel normal, like he's not got the weight of a destiny and Albion on his shoulders, like everything's not depending on him to fix it.

The only thing that needs fixing is Arthur's shirt.

He doesn't even mind cleaning out the stables, no matter how much he moans about it to Arthur. Horses can't talk, so he can tell them anything, even the things he can't tell Gaius, or Arthur, or the rest of the Knights, no matter how much he wants to.

It's quiet and calm and relaxing.

And he likes it.


	219. Roller-Skates

**I know that this is completely the wrong century, but I love this picture in my head, so here it is...**

Merlin cheered as Gwaine rolled past him, the roguish Knight laughing and promptly toppling over. The two were almost hysterical in their laughter, Merlin sliding down the wall of the castle whilst Gwaine sat in the middle of the courtyard.

Arthur looked at them, horrified. "Gwaine, what were you _drinking_?"

"The usual, I think," The Knight choked out through his laughter.

"What one Earth are _those_?"

"It's mine and Merlin's new invention. We were bored."

Arthur nodded. "I can see. Very bored. Remind me to not let you get this bored again..."

Merlin piped up, "I think I've got it. We can call them roller-skates!"


	220. Normal

Some strange things are normal in Camelot.

Like watching the servant Merlin thrown into the stocks, or the Prince smacking said servant around the head at least three times a day. Watching him trip up the stairs and fall back down them, carrying sparkling armour.

Or a servant Queen, and the friendly banter between the Knights, as they dye Elyan's cloak pink , mock fight with each other and replace Gwaine's ale with water to sober him up.

Or a Prince being friends with servants and making commoners Knights.

But as odd as other people find it, it's normal for them.


	221. Take A Break

**...Have a KitKat! (Sorry, that just came to mind...)**

Sometimes Arthur just needs a break from being a Prince, from having to do his duties and live up to the expectations that everyone sets for him.

Merlin can always sense that, and he packs a picnic basket and sends Arthur into the woods with Gwen, to enjoy themselves for the day and forget about the world around them and all the troubles they face.

Sometimes he goes along himself, and sometimes it's just Merlin and Arthur, going for a hunt.

But no matter what, when the tension starts building, Merlin always knows when he needs a break.

(In fact, sometimes it's creepy.)


	222. Sacrifice

Merlin is going to sacrifice himself.

Arthur isn't stupid. It's not the first time Merlin's tried it, far from it. He doesn't know why his servant is so keen to die for him, what he's done that's worth such loyalty. Sure he's the Prince (Regent at the minute), but that doesn't mean any other servant would die for their master. But, then again, Merlin never has been normal.

And when he wakes up and Gwaine tells him that the Veil is closed, no matter how sad he is that Lancelot is dead, he is glad that Merlin isn't dead instead.


	223. Caring

To be honest, Gaius has almost given up on Merlin.

Sure, the man is like his own son and he cares for him as a parent would and he never stops worrying about him, but Merlin never learns.

He never stops getting into trouble, playing with fire (what with the number of times that Uther had personally thrown him into the stocks). Merlin never stops taunting Arthur, or falling down the stairs (or falling _up_ them). He never stops using magic to use his chores, even though it could get him killed.

Almost.

Because Gaius could never stop caring, especially not about Merlin.


	224. Just A Dream

Morgana woke up screaming, her heart in her throat and her hair twisted and damp against the pillow. She flinched as an arm wrapped around her, before sinking into the familiar embrace.

Merlin brushed his mouth against her cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She told him, shaking in terror. "It was just a dream." She squeezed her eyes shut against the images that were flooding her brain, herself mad, Arthur without her, _Merlin _without her. Days of forests and months of torture, caves and holes; and daggers stabbed into backs and necks and stomachs.

She felt sick.

"It was just a dream."


	225. No Expectations

Arthur knows that he's not supposed to wander off when his father is busy, but he's so bored that he can't help it. He's sure that at least two of his guards are following him.

He doesn't mind doing this, because in these villages, far away from the heart of Camelot, hardly anyone recognises the Prince.

He has no expectations to live up to. He can just be himself.

He doesn't actually have to look interested in whatever his father is discussing, because really it isn't.

Instead he can just be a normal child and run around the forest, as long as he comes back safe.

He doesn't know why his father brings him on these trips anyway.


	226. Modern Day Appliances

Arthur had known that the world had changed. He'd been, effectively, asleep for over a thousand years.

It would be ridiculous to assume otherwise.

But these things were so _strange_.

This one thing that he'd found, in the 'kitchen' (despite the fact that he couldn't see any actual food), had lights that flashed on and off and had an opening door and a plate that rotated and made odd dinging noises.

He had fun playing with it until Merlin poked his head around the door, alarmed by the lack of noise he'd heard from the King.

"Um, Arthur... What are you doing with the microwave?"


	227. Killing

Merlin has never killed before - not really. He was a peasant, so of course it had been necessary sometimes, but as part of a family without a father there had usually been another man to take pity on them enough to hunt for them. Merlin had loathed to even think about killing the bunnies.

And suddenly he was killing. And it was for _Arthur_, the annoying, arrogant Prince who so obviously didn't care one whit about him.

He was doing things that he'd hated to protect a man that he didn't particularly _like_.

Huh.

That _had_ to be destiny.


	228. Paradise

Arthur doesn't know where he is, only that it has fields a shade of green that he's never seen before and waters that are too clear a blue to exist.

He is on Avalon they tell him and somehow that makes sense. He knows he is dead.

Only it doesn't feel like he is dead - he has Excalibur at his side, and Gwaine and Elyan and his mother and his father and sometimes even Morgana, what is left of her.

It is almost paradise.

Only he doesn't have his wife and he doesn't have Merlin.

But they will come soon enough.


	229. Convenient

Sometimes Merlin wonders how many of them actually see him. All of them that pretend to be his friends, and none of them ask him how he is, about his parents or his life outside serving Arthur. Most of the time he doesn't mind - it makes his job easier - but sometimes he wished that it would occur to one of them to ask.

But none of them did.

He is there when it is convenient, but only then.

He knows that they would miss him if he left, but would any of them even know where to start if they wanted to find him?

He doesn't know.


	230. Destiny

She's confused and alone, knowing nothing of this world that she's so new to. Aithusa remembers the night she hatched, midnight blue eyes and hair as dark as the night and the dragon that was her kin.

Then she remembers being alone.

They had both left her, there.

She'd wandered on her own, finding the best ways to survive and trying to make sense of this world that was so confusing and bright and loud. She followed where her instincts told her to go.

And this woman, the dark haired one, had the strings of destiny coiled around her.

She just didn't know why yet.


	231. Humiliated

Something about this new servant catches his eye. Perhaps it's his complete inability to conform to the bootlicking nature of the other servants, the wittiness of his tongue or the fact that he saved Arthur's life.

But something about Merlin draws him in, whatever it is.

It's not often that Arthur finds himself liking servants, particularly not ones as brazen as Merlin.

So it hurts when Merlin sets him up to be utterly humiliated in front of his father and the entire court, accusing Valiant of magic.

He doesn't even know why he trusts the servant on a matter in the first place.

But he does.


	232. Security

Merlin knows that he's spent too long in Camelot's dungeons when all the prison guards know him by name and he is able to ask them all about their wives, children and in-laws.

They have given up escorting him to a cell, instead trusting him to lock himself inside.

And to think that such a powerful sorcerer is being trusted to put himself under armed guard really explains a lot about Camelot.

(Not that they know about the sorcerer bit.)

But really, the minute he is exposed he is personally going to look into the situation.

He's doing the guards jobs for them.


	233. Supposed

He's not supposed to be doing this.

In all honesty, he's not even supposed to be in the Kingdom at this point in time, only eluding the dungeons through the intervention of the Prince, who was everything he'd heard.

But he's trained his whole life for this and he'd been so close to achieving his dream, with the aid of Merlin, and it had been snatched away.

But that wasn't why he was still here.

He was still here so that he could help.

And he does, even if it's more because of Merlin that himself. But still, it's his lance that does the job.


	234. Bored

In the end the magic reveal doesn't go as badly as he'd expected. It's not as bad as he'd first thought (he's not been executed after all) but it's not as good as either (he's not exactly Court Sorcerer).

Instead he's been banished.

Well, it's not like it'll stick for long.

Only he doesn't know what to do with himself now there's no prat to look after. He'd never realised quite how much of his life had been dedicated to saving his life before, now that he's not got anything else to do with the time.

To be honest, he's _bored_.

And a bored warlock is a very bad thing.


	235. Not Alone

He doesn't really have friends. Most of the parents don't want their children playing with the bastard child of Hunith's no matter how nice the woman is.

The stigma of being a bastard, along with Merlin's own oddities is enough for the rest of the kids to avoid him like he's the plague, or like being a freak is contagious.

But he doesn't mind. He's got Will – because he doesn't have a father anymore either, so it's fine.

And he's got his magic, for when Will isn't there, even if his mother doesn't like him using it.

He's not alone.


	236. Banished

When Arthur had finally gotten back to his chambers, he'd expected to find a distraught wife and several equally distressed and angry Knights.

Instead he'd found what seemed to be his wife preparing half the contents of the kitchens of Camelot and Gwaine attaching colourful banners to the walls.

"What's going on?" He frowned.

Gwen started humming.

"Why are you all acting like this? Merlin's been banished!" It had hurt to do, but the revelation of his magic had been too hard to bear, even if he couldn't stand the thought of executing his friend.

Gwaine looked at him like he was a bit slow. "We're in Camelot."

Gwen came over to him to kiss him on the cheek. "He'll probably be back by tomorrow."


	237. Friendship

Merlin doesn't really know why he's doing this.

Actually he does. He's doing this because of Arthur.

Isn't that what everything comes down to? He doesn't like Uther and if he were a lesser person then he'd admit to hating him, for what the other man has done to his people and to his father and to himself.

But Arthur doesn't know about any of that and he would be devastated if his father died.

Have Arthur shattered, or let the man he hates the most die?

Somehow there is no competition.

And he almost hates it, because this is what destiny has done.

No, this is friendship.


	238. Busy

Most of the time Merlin does all of his chores himself, which combined with his secondary job as the physician's assistant and stopping all magical attacks or creatures means that he doesn't normally have much time to himself.

Sometimes he struggles to find time to fit lunch in, or proper sleep, when he's up until some ridiculous hour cleaning Gaius' leech tank and then has to be up and ready to wake Arthur the next morning.

Really, it's no wonder he's so skinny.

Gaius tries to help when he can, persuade Arthur into letting him take a break, but Merlin's got too much to do to stop.

After all, assassins won't stop to let him get some sleep.


	239. Betrayal Everywhere

Arthur is fed up of those he cares about betraying him. He can't take it anymore - not when Morgana is evil and Agravaine is dead and Gwen is under some kind of possession, induced by Morgana's capture of her.

He can't take it anymore.

Each time someone betrays him, it's like a stab in the heart, reminding him that these people are betraying him for a reason and he can't quite work out what it is.

He doesn't know what he'd do if Merlin betrayed him like this.

But he hasn't, and that's something he holds on to for as long as he can.


	240. Cupboard

He supposes that this is his own fault.

He's hiding in a cupboard, waiting to surprise Merlin on his birthday, because none of them can ever seem to surprise Merlin.

Only he can't seem to get out of the cupboard.

Great. He's locked in a cupboard in his manservant's quarters. It's going to take ages to find him - because who is going to expect to find him here?

Even better.

And he's not even got food because he decided against bringing Merlin a cake, thinking it would give him ideas. Now he wishes he had.

This just proves that being nice to Merlin solves nothing.


	241. Betrayed

She feels betrayed that Gwen would do this to her. Sefa had always served her faithfully, until this one small mishap with her father.

And Gwen was willing to execute her like it was nothing, like she'd hadn't been her friend for the last few months. The woman that had been talked about, kind, compassionate, wasn't there at all. Instead she was cold and unfeeling.

This wasn't the Queen she'd been serving all this time. This was someone else, some stranger with her face.

And this would be her fate, to die serving Camelot. To die serving the city that would have her killed in an instant if they knew what she really was, serving the family that had ordered it.


	242. Show Off

No one actually seems to realise quite how much Merlin picks up just from watching them and training them. He supposes that that's partly his fault - it's near instinctual for him to hide anything that could be used against him or get him executed, like his magic or being a dragonlord.

But he's still human and sometimes he likes to show off as much as the next man.

Such as when one of the Knights challenges him to a duel and Merlin swiftly and impressively disarms him.

None of the rest can quite believe their eyes.

Especially when he does the same to Lancelot.


	243. Pandora's Box

Arthur wasn't an idiot. That was Merlin's job. He knew that there was something his manservant was hiding from him but every time Arthur thought about asking him he caught a look in Merlin's eyes that told him that he shouldn't open that Pandora's box until he was ready for the answers, whatever they may be.

And he could never quite be sure he was ready for them, with the darkness hidden behind the cheerfulness of Merlin's eyes and the faint lines of scars he saw sometimes when Merlin rolled his sleeves up, or his shirt rode up.

This was one box he wasn't ready to open yet.


	244. Never Happened

Sometimes Gwen wonders what would've happened if she hadn't married Arthur. Would she have married Lancelot instead? Would she have become the commoner wife of a Knight, no less extraordinary as the commoner wife of a King?

Or would she have married someone else, someone like Merlin. Not Merlin, not anymore - that ship had sailed a long time ago and now they were more like siblings. She was probably closer to Merlin that she was to Elyan.

She didn't honestly know what would've happened.

But it didn't matter, she reasoned as she wriggled closer to her husband.

It never happened.


	245. Burn

He feels the exact moment that he's alone, the emptiness. He'd never known it was there before because it had always been full. Now though Uther has slaughtered all of his kin and left him alive for pride. He can feel the darkness, the absence. He is alone, for the first time ever, staring into the darkness of the cave and eternity.

Uther will pay for this, he is sure for that.

He will rue the day that he made his deal with Nimueh, that he massacred the dragons.

Kilgharrah roars in fury. He will _make_ Uther pay.

Camelot will burn for this.


	246. Day Dreaming

Sometimes he dreams of the days when Arthur knows he has magic. Sometimes he dreams that Arthur accepts him, that he becomes Court Sorcerer, that Kilgharrah is present for the birth of the first heir to Camelot.

Sometimes he dreams what the pyre would feel like, the darkness and despair of the dungeons.

Sometimes he dreams about the reactions of Arthur, Gwen, Gwaine, the rest of the Knights, _Camelot_.

Most of the time he dreams about how his magic will be revealed, at the hand of an enemy or in a moment of trust and peace.

Merlin isn't surprised at how often Arthur tells him off for daydreaming.


	247. Hold On

At the end of every day Merlin tells himself that this will end one day.

One day he'll go to sleep not feeling like the weight on the world is on his shoulders, like he has to bear it alone. Because one day they will all know what he has sacrificed for them, and then he won't be alone.

He's not stupid enough to think that all of his friends will be okay with it, but he holds onto the thought that maybe some people will choose to follow Lancelot's path of acceptance.

So he goes to bed and every night he dreams about what would happen if it doesn't.


	248. Fine

When he closes his eyes and opens them again it's to the open sky. He's alone on what seems to be an island, one that's empty and foggy and green.

And he's dead.

Only somehow he doesn't find that thought quite as distressing as it should be - sure he's worried about Gwen, about Merlin, about the Knights and the whole of Camelot, but something in his gut tells him that everything will be alright. Merlin will be fine, Gwen will be fine - _Camelot_ will be fine

So he closes his eyes again.

When he next opens them, a thousand years have passed.


	249. Accident

It comes out almost by accident, Gwen teasing Merlin about his lack of interest in the serving maids, Gwaine joining in, and the two of them going a bit too far and Merlin snaps.

And now Arthur knows.

He killed the only woman that his best friend has ever loved and he didn't even know it, hadn't even apologised for it.

And Merlin had forgiven him anyway.

Not that it was enough, what with the pain that he could read on Merlin's face and the sadness in his eyes. Gwaine and Gwen never tried to push him again and Arthur would never forgive himself.


	250. Dresses

The first time that Arthur catches Merlin with a dress he can almost handle it, because he doesn't know much about the upkeep of clothes - that's Merlin's job after all - and the presence of moths almost seems like a viable thing.

And then the second time it's just funny. Because he's always called Merlin a girl and now he's just proving it. Merlin can do what he wants in his own time, Arthur just doesn't want to know about it.

No matter how much fun it would be to tease Merlin about afterwards, it's not really something he wants to know.


	251. Father

Sometimes she thinks that Uther is a better father to her than her own ever was. Her father was always away on a campaign, at war, or at Court. Most of the time it had just been Morgana and her mother, as well as the servants, until her mother had died and she had waited by the windows alone.

The first time that she'd been at Court was when Uther adopted her as his ward and she'd loved it. There had been people there that were actually interested in her.

And the King always had a smile for her, even when her own father hadn't.


	252. Story

Balinor had never known that his union with Hunith had resulted in a child, and despite everything - the shame that Hunith must've been put through, the hardship that his son must've been subjected to - he didn't care. He almost didn't care that he'd never seen his son at all, nor known of his existence, in exchange for this one day with him.

Merlin looked just like him, young and hopeful, before he'd been turned bitter by the Purge and being driven out of his own home by the King who had been his friend.

He hoped that this story wouldn't end the same way.


	253. Not Broken

He knew that it would never happen any other way, for himself and Arthur to be captured and he unable to use magic for them to escape before they're injured.

And it makes more sense for them to try to get the information out of the servant, because why would he die to protect Camelot's secrets? It's more fun to watch the Prince scream and not lay a finger on him.

But he doesn't give them the satisfaction. He refuses to give in, to even let them hear a whimper.

Merlin has broken before now. He's not about to start.


	254. Wake Up

He wakes up every morning to one of Merlin's ridiculous sayings, like up and at it you lazy daisy, so when he is gently shaken awake and the curtains are slowly pulled apart, instead of being thrown open, he knows something is wrong.

George is waking him up.

Where is Merlin?

He didn't think he'd miss getting such a rude awakening, but it had been happening for so long that he'd almost forgotten what it was like to wake up without him.

In fact, tomorrow, he might not even throw something at Merlin, to make up for him not being here today.


	255. Three Jobs

Sometimes Merlin just gives up with everything. There's always someone going after Arthur, no matter how hard he tries to stop the latest person from killing him. He'd never let them, of course, but sometimes he wonders if it will ever end.

Instead he finds himself covered in scars and thrown down stairs and poisoned and shot at and blasted out of windows. It really seems like there's not much point.

Because really, if he falls out of one more window then he may just quit his job (all three of them) altogether.

Arthur's servant is fine. Gaius dogsbody is harder.

The Prince's magical protector is impossible.


	256. Lake

In his dreams he is standing on a lakeside, his toes dipping into the water and the grass soft beneath his feet. Mountains tower over him in the distance, covered in flowers.

And Freya is standing waist deep in the lake, beckoning to him. He knows that no matter how much he wants to join her he cannot. He is fated to stand on the shore side, so close and yet so far away, just a few inches away from his touch.

Because he knows that if he enters the lake he will not come out again, and destiny will not let that happen.


	257. Secrets Revealed

When he finally finds out about Merlin he doesn't know what he's supposed to think. It he supposed to be angry, sad, mad, happy? Grateful? A mixture of any of them?

He really doesn't know what he's feeling, it's a strange combination of them and several things he can't name, all mixed up inside like he's going to explode unless he throws something at Merlin for being such an idiot.

For not telling him that he was a dragon lord.

For not telling him that he'd spared the beast that had killed so many citizens of Camelot and let it free in the first place.

(And about the magic, of course.)


	258. Gwen

Arthur doesn't know what it is about this woman that he's just run into, but she seems strangely familiar, more so when she's glaring at him for accidently spilling his coffee down her.

It probably shouldn't be as surprising as it is when she flat out tells him no when he tries to ask her out. Merlin finds it hilarious.

Instead it takes three more meetings in the coffee shop, this time not spilling coffee down her before he gets her name.

It's Gwen.

He feels like he's met her somewhere before, other than here. He recognises the name.

He doesn't know where from.


	259. Weapon

Arthur mainly hates magic because the idea that people could choose something so destructive, would willingly learn something that could kill someone else.

Still, he's never thought of it another way before, which is why it's such a shock when Merlin points out that swords do the same. Arthur can be just as deadly with a sword as a sorcerer can with magic, and both can be used to kill.

But both can be used to protect. Arthur wields his weapons in order to protect others and some Healers use magic to save their patients.

Is there really any difference?

Arthur doesn't know.


	260. Love Life

He's not surprised that finds himself telling Gwen. She's always been far more observant than Arthur and notices the sadness in his eyes whenever he sees the two of them together, or Gaius with the newly returned Alice, or any couple walking together through Camelot.

"What was her name?"

She sees him freeze but knows that now she knows she's right she won't give up asking.

"Freya. Her name was Freya."

She smiles at him and stops Gwaine and Arthur from attempting to interfere with his love life and the next time they discuss their lady-friends she intervenes before it occurs to anyone to ask Merlin.


	261. Arrest

"And then he arrested her." Merlin finishes that part of his story with a flourish that starts Elyan out of his day-dreaming because Merlin may be an excellent story-teller but Elyan already saw and heard more about Arthur and Gwen than he possibly wanted to about his sister... Wait.

"Arrested her?"

"Yeah, the King needed someone to blame."

"So Arthur arrested Gwen. And then she married him."

"He arrested her more than once actually," Merlin told him, far too happily for someone discussing arrest.

Well, it was just more proof of what he'd been saying all along. Gwen was utterly mad.


	262. Ruler

Gwen feels a tear trickle down her cheek as Merlin drops to his knees in front of her and takes her hand.

Arthur is dead.

Her husband, her _King_ is gone.

She will be alone, to rule a kingdom, to bring up their child, through her pregnancy.

He has gone somewhere she cannot follow, not yet. Not for a long time.

But it is not Merlin's fault, no matter how much she knows he will blame himself. She knows Merlin and he will have done everything possible to help her husband.

Sometimes she thought the pair of them were closer than she was to her husband.

And it is not his fault.

She pulls him to his feet beside her.


	263. I Know

He doesn't know how to tell Merlin that he knows. He knows. That he's not supposed to know, because he's the Crown Prince and telling his father could get Merlin executed, but he wants to talk to Merlin anyway because he's curious as to how something like this happens.

Has it happened since he became Arthur's manservant, or before then?

Maybe it was even why he'd been there!

Maybe Guinevere knew - he knew how close the pair of them were. What did she think?

He didn't know how anyone could date Morgana, let alone someone like Merlin. Did she not think he didn't see her dragging him into dark corners, Merlin emerging looking as though he'd received a blow to the head. She was insufferable.

And practically his sister.

(Did this mean he and Merlin needed to have a talk?)


	264. The Sword In The Stone

To be honest, Merlin was surprised that Arthur hadn't worked it out already, what with the revelation that he was the Once and Future King that would unite Albion, sometime not that far into the future.

Where in that story did it leave room for the story he'd told about the sword in the stone being true?

But from the way that Arthur was looking at him now he really hadn't worked it out (not that that should be surprising, the dollop head was an idiot).

Anyone would have thought he was attached to the legend that Merlin had spun about King Brutus...


	265. Puppy Love

Merlin doesn't quite know what to say to Arthur's slightly smirk. There are several things wrong with that situation, firstly that Arthur is actually already awake and dressed when Merlin goes to wake him, even though Merlin is on time for once.

Secondly, that look is solely for when Arthur has done something or thought of something that he thinks is clever, and he rarely manages to be successful at either at this kind of time in the morning.

And then he sees the dog.

He groans.

"What's wrong, Merlin?" Arthur grins at him. "I thought this is what you wanted - you complained so much about following me around, I thought maybe you were jealous."

Whoever Arthur purchased the dog from had trained him well.

Merlin couldn't get rid of the dog all day.


End file.
